Part 2 of TO Who’s Powerless...

Scene begins on the next day. It’s about 9am and Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Ross are all at Central Perk. They’re drinking coffee before they go back to the hospital to visit Rachel and Emma. (This is the scene where I come in. -=oD) I go into Central Perk and while I’m ordering my coffee from Gunther, I hear a familiar laugh. It’s Chandler’s laugh. Let’s just pretend I’ve met him somewhere before. I’ll explain in the dialogue. I notice that he and a couple other people who I have not yet met are sitting on the couch. I go over and say hello.

Monica: Hey so Joey never came home last night. Did he call any of you guys?

Phoebe: He called me after he had umm...talked to Ross. I think he had stayed at the hospital. (looking at Ross) Did you get a chance to talk to him?

Ross: No, I had probably already left by the time he got back to the room.

Phoebe: (in her famous Phoebe way) Ooh no.

Monica: Are we missing something here?

Ross: Basically, Joey was led astray and gave me a HUGE piece of his mind...

Chandler: Okay, the being led ASTRAY part I get, but, JOEY gave you a HUGE piece of his mind?

Ross: Well, yeah.

Chandler: I didn’t know Joey’s mind was big enough to dish out in pieces! (forces out a laugh. Nobody else laughs) Oh, come on guys! We’re talking about Joey here! Oh, forget it.

Monica: Sorry honey, but you can’t be funny forever.

Mary: Chandler?

Chandler: (turning his head to look at me) Mary? Oh, hey!! (he stands up to hug me) What are you doing here?

Mary: (looking at him funny. Sarcastically says) Protesting unfair sweatshop conditions in communist countries! What about you?

Chandler: Just....(can’t think of a clever comeback. *Like that’s ever going to happen.* Uncertainly says) having some coffee.

Mary: How quaint. (smiles at him and the gang, hinting for him to introduce me. Then hold up my hand as if I’m telling him not to speak.) Let me guess...(to Ross) You must be Ross.

Ross: (gets up to shake my hand) Yes, how’d you know?

Mary: Too much gel in your hair. (the rest of the gang laughs. He looks embarrassed) I’m kidding! I already know what Joey looks like and Chandler only talks about you and him. (To Phoebe) And you HAVE to be Phoebe.

Phoebe: (gets up to shake my hand) See, you only knew that because I was telling you through telekinesis.

Mary: Exactly. (To Monica) And you must be the beautiful, successful and loving wife, Monica. (she smiles and I shake her hand.) Wow, you’re even prettier than Chandler described you. And so fit too!

Monica: (agrees like it’s a fact) I am, aren’t I? (whispers loudly to Chandler) I like her!

Ross: So Mary, how do you know Chandler?

Mary: I’m his co-worker, Justin’s girlfriend...(sadly) well, actually ex-girlfriend now.

Chandler: Oh, no...What happened?

Mary: We just had this really heated argument, and then I said, well maybe we needed some space. We didn’t call each other for 2 days. And, when I finally got a hold of him, he confessed that he had slept with someone else the day before...(everyone looks at Ross)

Ross: Well, I mean... you guys WERE taking a break...

Mary: Yeah, that is true. (Ross glares back at everyone else like his past actions were justified) But a BREAK to me doesn’t mean BREAK-UP. I don’t know...to me, it doesn’t matter whether you’re committed by word...if you love someone, you don’t sleep around with anybody else. Otherwise, it just cheapens the entire idea of love. (Ross looks down to the floor defeated. I try to change my tone of voice.) Anyways...hey Chandler it’s a good thing I ran into you. I was wondering if you’d be able to give me Joey Tribbiani’s phone number. The Times wants me to do a feature on Soap Operas, don’t ask me why, and well, I just remembered how close you two are.

Chandler: Sure, no problem. (he writes it down for me on a napkin.) He’s actually at the hospital right now with a friend of ours who just had a baby, but I’m sure he’ll be home later on tonight.

Mary: Thanks! (look my watch) Well anyways, it was so great meeting you guys, but I have a deadline at 11am for an opinion piece about whether Britney Spears is “Too Sexy for Her Shirt”.(stick out my tongue in distaste) Hey, we should all get together and have dinner sometime!

All: Hey, yeah that’d be great!/ Sure thing!/ Call us this week!/ Love to! (We wave good bye. I exit.)

Ross: Did anybody else NOT like her?

Rest of the gang: Oh, no I loved her!/ She was really sweet./ Great personality!

Ross: Damnit, I thought so too.

Scene cuts to inside of Rachel’s hospital room: It is now late morning, around 10am. Rachel is already awake and staring outside the window, reliving in her mind the events that had just happened within the last few days. Joey is beginning to stir, his body is slouched in the chair and there is a blanket on him. He hears unfamiliar voices coming into the room.

Doctor: Good morning, Miss Green. How are you feeling today?

Rachel: (very sarcastically) Oh gee, I dunno...A little over 10 hours ago, I spent the entire day squeezing out an 8lb. baby from my vagina, thanks to a man who is a lying, cheating, promise-breaking, secretly-stays-married-to-you ex-husband with THE best timing IN THE WORLD to bare GREAT, LIFE ALTERING news. So Doctor, besides being a LITTLE tired, you can imagine just how peachy I’m feeling. (pauses) Oh by the way, when can I see Emma?

Doctor: (to himself) Hmm....you’d think with all of the advances in medical technology there would be stronger sedatives for pregnancy hormones. (To nurse) Betty, can you check Miss Green’s blood pressure please. (to Rachel) It’s perfectly normal to still be tired. You’ll be tired for the rest of the week as well. And don’t worry, I’ll have someone bring Emma in as soon as I’m done with your check up. (notices Joey, then asks Rachel) Where is Dr. Gellar?

Rachel: (matter-of-factly) Somewhere up my ass.

Doctor: I see...(to Joey) Sir, do you mind stepping out of the room for awhile so I can examine Miss Green. The faster I get done, the sooner she goes home.

Joey: Oh sorry, yeah, sure thing. (he groggily goes out into the hall.)

Joey stands with his back leaning against the wall. A few seconds later, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe walk up to him.

Chandler: Wow, Joe! You look terrible! Did YOU have a baby last night?!

Joey: (ignorant) What are you talking about? You know dudes can’t have babies. (They look at Joey in disbelief. Then Joey realizes it was a joke. He thinks of a clever response. To Chandler) Well, at least I didn’t have to go home and make babies with Monica! (Then Joey realizes that wasn’t an insult. To Monica) Well, at least I didn’t have to go home and make babies with CHANDLER! (Monica looks shocked, and a little hurt. She looks over to Phoebe for support.)

Phoebe: Don’t look at me! He DOES have a point...

Monica: (thoughtful. Then shrugs her shoulders and admits) Yeah, okay.

Chandler: (upset, obviously missing the target of the insult) Hey it’s not MY fault our kid’s not gonna know which one of my parents is grandpa!

Joey just shakes his head and pats Chandler on the back. Then Chandler, Monica and Phoebe start to go into Rachel’s room and Joey stops them.

Joey: You can’t go in there, the doctor’s checkin’ up on Rach.

Phoebe: Oh really...Hey, how’s she feeling anyway?

Joey: Umm...Let’s just pretend Rachel is Chandler and today is Thanksgiving.

Phoebe: Ooh no...

Chandler: (defensive) Hey! (Monica gives him a look) Okay, but that was just a CHEAP shot!

Joey: Where’s Ross?

Monica: I’m letting him borrow the Porsche so he can drive Rach home later today. He’s parking it I guess.

Ross then walks up to them. He looks at everyone but Joey. Joey starts to feel bad.

Scene cuts to inside Rachel’s room. The doctor is just about finishing up when Rachel sees a familiar head through the tiny window of her door. She gets a sinister idea...

Rachel: Dr. Morgan! Oh My Gosh!!! THERE’S AN OLD MAN WITH A SEVERED ARM WHO JUST RAN PAST THE DOOR!!! EWW, EWW, EWW THERE’S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

Scene cuts back to out in the hall.

Ross: (glumly) Hey...why are you guys out here? (when he says “out here” he makes a “Ross” motion with his hands to signify the hall.)

Chandler: Because the doctor’s takin’ a look at Rachel...(giggles immaturely and points at his pant zipper) down there...

Ross: Oh. Well, did you guys see her yet? How is she?

Phoebe: Funny that you should mention that actually...see, we had just finished-

Suddenly the door from Rachel’s room bursts open nearly knocking Ross’s body over. The rest of the gang gasps and jumps back. The doctor runs out, anxiously looking out in the hall only to find nothing unusual.

Ross: (angry) Hey! Watch it! (scolds Dr. Morgan with his finger in an eccentric-Ross way) DOCTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO “SAVE” LIVES, NOT “END” THEM!

Doctor: (incredibly embarrassed) I’m sorry about that, Dr. Gellar! (Suspiciously looks back at Rachel) Ms. Green, I think the labor may have impacted your judgment. You seem to be experiencing hallucinations...

Rachel: (amused) Oh, I know there was no man with a severed arm...You see, I saw Ross’s head through the window and I told you that HOPING the door would hit him. (The doctor just shakes his head at her. The gang looks at each other as to say “woah...” Joey gives them an “I told you so” look. Rachel looks at Ross happily. Then sarcastically says) Well hello Ross! You’re just in time! How bout one more baby for the hell of it since the last pregnancy was just so much fun?!

Joey: Uhhh...hey Ross, can I talk to you outside for a sec?

Ross: (looks at Joey unsurely, and then glances back at Rachel. She rolls her eyes at him.) Umm...yeah, sure. (He follows Joey outside)

The rest of the gang cautiously walks into Rachel’s room as though she is a bomb and about to explode.

Monica: (very sweetly to Rachel) Sweetie, can I get you anything?

Rachel: A bottle of vodka, a box of Twinkies...oh and about a pound of weed would be nice...

Phoebe: (impatient and short tempered) Oh come off it Rachel! Talk to me when you have THREE BABIES...AT THE SAME TIME...WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN GET TO KEEP ONE! (Rachel looks at Phoebe frightened. Phoebe mutters waving her hands around her face) Damnit, now my aura’s all disfigured....

Not wanting to get anymore involved, Dr. Morgan and the nurse quietly leave the room. Chandler and Monica look at each other like it’s going to be a long day.

Scene cuts to outside of the hospital.

Joey: Look man...I’m sorry. You were right. It’s not my place to judge you and your decisions. But there’s something you need to understand. I’ve never been in love before. I couldn’t control my feelings. I didn’t know what to do...(Ross can tell that Joey’s having a hard time saying all of this.) But now I know...and now I realize that loving someone is more complicated than just wanting to be with that person...it’s about putting their feelings before your own, no matter how much it hurts.

Ross: (he pretends to not understand to make Joey continue) I don’t understand Joey...

Joey: (sighs. Thinks of a simple way to tell Ross he knows. Realizes there is no simple way) Phoebe told me that you were planning to ask Rachel back...

Ross: Oh...(doesn’t know what to say next)

Joey: It’s okay, man...this is the way things should be...(Joey looks away from Ross) But I just really wanted you to know how sorry I was...

Ross: Joey, I was never mad at you to begin with...

Joey: Dude, what I said was way out of line! And to make things worse, I said it right in front of Rachel! Now she’s mad at you for no reason! You have every right to be mad at me...

Ross: What you said last night was from your heart...I’m not mad at you, so don’t be mad at yourself.

Joey: (pauses to think) What I still don’t understand is why Rachel? Of all the girls in the world, I had to fall for her...

Ross: Joe, you can’t help who you fall in love with...Don’t think that you did something wrong behind my back. You didn’t. You came to me first...(Ross remembers the conversation they had when Joey told him that he was in love with Rachel.)

Cuts to scene from TOW Joey tells Rachel...

Joey: Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh…I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you.

Ross: Thank you.

Joey: Anyway, it uh…look it’ll just…take me a while to get over her, that’s all. I’m not even sure how to do that, I mean I’ve never been in love before so…

Ross: What?! You’re in love with her.

Joey: Yeah, I thought you knew that.

Ross: Umm, no.

Ross: (slowly continues) and Joey, I’ve decided not to ask her back...

Joey: (completely clueless) Wait, huh?!?!

Scene cuts back to Rachel’s hospital room. A nurse comes in with Emma all bundled up in a baby blanket. There are a bunch of “Oohs and Aahs”. Monica can’t take her eyes off Emma and watches her enviously. The nurse hands her over to Rachel. Rachel begins to cry. All of the negative tension seems to disappear once Emma is placed into her arms.

Rachel: (loving, motherly tone) Hi, sweetie. How are you doing today, huh? Aww...you are so precious....my little Emma...mommy loves you so much.

Monica: (barely able to contain herself) Mmkay, Rachel can I hold her now?! Please?!

Rachel: (still softly talking to Emma, in a happy, babyish tone) You don’t want to be held by crazy Aunt Monica, do you Emma....no, no you don’t...no you don’t...(Monica looks like she’s about to cry. Rachel laughs) Oh, Monica...I’m just kidding. Come here. (Rachel gently hands Emma to Monica. Monica is completely breath taken by Emma and falls into a trance. Rachel and Phoebe look at each other.)

Rachel and Phoebe: (simultaneously to Chandler in a teasing tone) Yeah...good luck with that one. (obviously referring to Monica. Chandler just nods his head and smiles sarcastically as to say “very funny.”)

Scene cuts back to outside of hospital. Joey is staring open mouthed at Ross and is completely speechless.

Ross: Joey, I’m not going to ask Rachel to be with me.

Joey: You’re what?! Dude, you’ve completely lost me. Rachel’s right you ARE a weird one. (looks around like he’s looking for something) I think I need to lie down...(Joey is about to get into a cab)

Ross: Where are you going?

Joey: Home to lie down!

Ross: Come on, Joe. Let’s get some coffee. I’ll explain everything. It’s a very long story...

Scene cuts back to Rachel’s hospital room. Chandler and Phoebe are packing up her stuff and getting ready to bring her home. Monica is still cradling Emma.

Phoebe: (to Rachel) Hey, it’s almost time to admit you out and Ross has the keys to the Porsche. I’m going to have to hail a cab for you. Man, those guys have been gone a long time. I can’t believe Ross is missing out on spending time with Emma. He was so excited yesterday.

Chandler: It’d be kind of hard to stay excited when the mother of his child is SATAN. (he emphasizes the word “Satan” and looks at Rachel.)

Rachel: (glares at Chandler) Monica, would you mind staying with me at my apartment tonight? Things are kind of awkward between Ross and I at the moment...

Monica: (very excited) Sure Rach! I’d love to stay with Emma! (to Emma in mushy tone) You are just my most favorite person in the world, yes you are!

Chandler: Hey! What about me?!

Monica: (coming out of a daze) Oh...Chandler...you’re still here?

Chandler: (in a sarcastic shock) It’s like my childhood all over again!!

Scene cuts back to the hospital Cafeteria. Joey and Ross haven’t returned back to Rachel’s room yet. They’re sitting at a table in a secluded corner of the cafeteria with coffee cups. Ross has just explained everything to Joey. Joey is completely dumbfounded.

Joey: Man this world is too damn crazy! I shoulda paid more attention to earth science than my earth science teacher's ass! I need to sit down!

Ross: You are.

Joey: (eccentric) Well then why can’t I feel my legs?! (Ross looks at Joey like he’s gone crazy)

Joey: (still unclear) Okay, let me see if I got this right...(speaks very slowly) You were going to ask Rachel back, but after last night, you decided not to?

Ross: Yes.

Joey: And now you AREN’T asking her to be with you because, because I messed everything up??

Ross: (trying to stay very strong while saying this) No Joe, this isn’t your fault. You didn’t intend to...You see, I-I don’t want to be with Rachel. I’m glad she’s the mother of my child. I’m glad she’s my best friend...but that’s it.

Joey: Ross! We’re talking about Rachel here! The potential love of your life!!

Ross: (crossing his hands and looking down at the table) Joey...she WAS the potential love of my life. She’s not anymore. Emma is now...I don’t know how to explain it...I had a hard enough time trying to describe it to Phoebe...It’s like, even though we’re not together anymore, our emotional paths keep crossing, and we keep on hurting each other unintentionally. (Joey listens intently. He remembers Rachel saying something similar the previous night.) When Phoebe mentioned how everything I’ve ever wanted is staring me in the face, I knew she was right. But Rachel wasn’t staring me in the face...Emma was. For these past few weeks Rachel has been giving me subtle hints about us getting back together, and I keep avoiding those hints like they’re jokes because I honestly...(fights to say the words)...I don’t love her anymore.

Joey: (taken aback) When, when did you finally realize this?

Ross: (sighs miserably) We kissed in the apartment before we left for the hospital...it was the first time I ever kissed Rachel and felt absolutely nothing...(The guys are quiet for awhile and you can tell both of them are deep in thought.)

Joey: Ross, that was the most pathetic piece of bullshit anyone’s ever told me. And trust me, I’ve heard a lot of Bull. I lived with Chandler.

Scene cuts into Rachel and Ross’s apartment. Phoebe and Chandler are helping Rachel into her room with Monica and Emma trailing behind. Emma is asleep in Monica’s arms. Inside the room, she gently puts Emma in her new bassinet next to Rachel’s bed.

Chandler: (holding onto one of Rachel’s arms and helping her into bed) There you go now...see? We made it! That wasn’t very hard now, was it? You’ll be up and about again in no time...

Rachel: Chandler I just gave birth, I’m not 85 years old. (Chandler feels really dumb.) Hey Pheebs, do you mind fluffing my pillows a bit? (Phoebe does so.) Aahh heaven...thank you.

Phoebe: Do you need anything else before we go?

Rachel: Umm...would one of you mind getting me a glass of water? (Phoebe motions over to Chandler)

Chandler: Why me?

Phoebe: Well, Monica’s watching Emma, Ross and Joey aren’t here, and I...well I just don’t want to. (Defeated, Chandler leaves the room. Phoebe and Monica are watching the baby adoringly. Phoebe’s cell phone rings and she goes into the living room to take the call. Chandler returns with a glass of water.)

Rachel: (to Chandler) Ooh, an orange would be nice. (Chandler leaves and comes back with an orange.) Hey is my new “Cosmo” here? (Chandler goes to check the mail and comes back with her magazine.) Hmm, I might need some clean towels...(he goes into the hallway closet to retrieve the towels, looking VERY annoyed. Rachel doesn’t notice.) Uh-oh, hey Chandler do you mind-

Chandler: (yelling) WHAT RACHEL? WHAT IS IT NOW?!

Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Nothing! Never mind!

Chandler: (feeling guilty) Hey, I’m sorry, please don’t cry. What do you need?

Rachel: (afraid of Chandler) I-I...I need Phoebe...(Chandler gets Phoebe from the living room.)

Cut scene to hospital: Joey is talking to Phoebe on her cell phone. By the time they had returned to the hospital room, Rachel had already been admitted out. They’re driving around Manhattan in Monica’s Porsche.

Joey: Ok, so you guys are at Ross’s and Rachel’s?

Phoebe: Yeah. What took you guys so long? (Hear Chandler calling Phoebe in the background.) Oh wait....(puts the phone down. Picks it back up shortly after.) Well you know where we are. Rachel needs me. Get your asses over here.

Joey: (on phone) Alright, we’ll be there in awhile. (hangs up phone. To Ross) You ready to do this?

Ross: (completely zoned out and terrified.) Yuh-huh.

Scene cuts back to Ross’s and Rachel’s Apt.

Phoebe: (worried tone) What’s wrong Rachel?

Rachel: (now crying. Says this all in one breath, very muffled) I had to pee and Chandler yelled at me and I got scared so, so I peed in my pants!! (sobbing loudly. Phoebe gives Chandler the “now-look-what-you’ve-done” look)

Chandler: (feeling very helpless. Looks up to the ceiling as though he’s calling out to God.) If they’re the ones who conned us into eating the apple, why is everything still OUR fault?!

TIME LAPSE

Scene at R and R’s apt: Joey and Ross have just entered. Chandler is on the couch watching TV. Phoebe is reading a magazine by the kitchen counter. Monica is with the baby in Rachel’s room and Rachel is asleep.

Phoebe: (to Ross) Umm, Hello?! (sarcastically says) No it is NOT the first day of your newborn baby’s life! Where the hell have you two been?

Ross: Where’s Rachel?

Chandler: Sleeping in her room. Monica’s in there with Emma.

Joey: We kinda went shopping.

Phoebe: (still upset) Oh I see...you take advantage of the fact that your child’s mother is mad at you so you can-(Ross takes a Tiffany’s box out of his jacket pocket and opens it to reveal a 2 carat, princess cut, flawless, class e diamond engagement ring with a platinum band. *can you tell I know a LITTLE too much about diamond rings. Haha* Phoebe and Chandler gasp.) Wow...

Chandler: (in a Janice way) Oh-My-God! (swallows hard.) You can’t show Monica that! She’ll flip! Besides having a new baby, Rachel’s going to have a ring that makes hers look like something she found in a Cracker Jack box! She’ll kill me!

Phoebe: Wow, wow, wow Ross! Hell for this ring, I’d marry you!

Ross: Thanks Pheebs...now, I just need to set up everything right. I want to do it tomorrow evening. Since she’s pretty upset at me, she’s probably going to be up in her room all night which gives me time to plan stuff out here without her noticing. I’m gonna need-

Phoebe: (cutting him off) I thought you were just going to ask her back? What made you decide to take one step further?

Joey: Well, it took awhile, but I finally knocked some sense into him-

Chandler: (cutting him off in disbelief) YOU knocked some SENSE into ROSS? (they look at him like he’s weird) What?! Geez, why aren’t my “dumb Joey” jokes working anymore?!

Joey: Maybe cuz’ they’re just, oh I don’t know, DUMB?! (they laugh at Chandler) Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted- (Chandler looks at Joey as to sarcastically say “haha”) Ross and I had a long talk...

Cut to a scene back in time a few hours ago. Ross and Joey are still at the cafeteria and Joey had just accused Ross that he was lying about his loss of feelings for Rachel.

Ross: (looking down) I’m...I’m not lying.

Joey: Ross! You’re the worst actor in the world!

(*sorry, guys no pun intended. Actually I believe David Schwimmer’s a great actor*)

Ross: (breathes in deeply. Looks up at Joey. Joey looks at him intently, expecting the truth. Ross finally caves in, almost ready to cry) Last night, after talking to Phoebe, I realized that maybe this WAS our last chance...I mean for Rachel and me to be together. So...I made a decision to go talk to her. And tell her that I wanted to try, one last time, for Emma. I mean, I’m not seeing anyone. She’s not seeing someone. We live together. We have a baby. We definitely have a history.

Joey: (agreeing supportively) Yeah you do.

Ross: When, when she was asleep, I figured I could you know, maybe practice...that’s why I said I was glad she couldn’t hear me ‘cuz it would make things easier. But then I just got uncomfortable. I always thought that if someday, if Rach and I got back together, we would be sure it was going to last forever. Then, watching her sleep there, so weak, so tired... I started to have doubts again. I-I remember when we were together, I used to just watch her sleep, and pray to God I’d never lose her...This made me so...sad. And I, I just didn’t want to be there anymore. I was terrified...

Joey: Now, I finally understand. Man, last night was already a mess, and I went and threw mud in your face! (sternly) But you CAN’T give up.

Ross: Joey, stop. I just, I can’t do this.

Joey: What are you so afraid of?

Ross: It’s Rachel, you know? I can’t-I can’t help but be afraid. It’s like every time one of us is brave enough to be up front with our feelings, something gets in the way. And-And, and it’s not just something that’s unavoidable.

Joey: Like what?

Ross: Like, new boyfriends, or new wives, or...new babies.

Joey: (thinks for awhile) Then maybe you should do something to make sure nothing gets in the way ever again.

Ross: What do you mean?

Joey: Propose.

Ross: What?! Do you KNOW who you’re talking to?! It’s ME, King of Divorce Land!

Joey: You said yourself that she had been hinting at you to get back together. Ross, last night when I came back in the room, she confessed that she was “powerless” over you, she loves you so much, it hurts her. Trust me.

Ross: Joey, why, why are you being so supportive about this?

Joey: Because, I told you last night...I might have feelings for Rachel, but I’m your best friend...and nothing is more important to me than the happiness of my best friends. That includes you AND Rachel.

Scene cuts back to present time at R and R’s apt. Joey and Ross had just finished explaining how Ross decided to propose to Rachel. Then, Phoebe and Chandler help him plan it out. Ross is going to ask Rachel to marry him tomorrow evening.

Scene cuts to next day at Joey’s apt. It is about 830am and Joey is eating cereal. He has to be at the “Days Of Our Lives” set by noon. Suddenly, the phone rings.

Joey: (answering the phone) Hello?

Mary: (on the phone) Hi! Is Joey Tribbiani there?

Joey: This is he...

Mary: Hi Mr. Tribbiani. My name is Mary Grace Brooks. Chandler Bing gave me your number.

Joey: Oh, right! Yeah, he told me you’d be calling. What’s up?

Mary: Oh, great! Well, umm... I’m a feature writer for the New York Times, and I was wondering if you’d be interested in being interviewed for my piece. In a nutshell, it’s about the parallels between your Soap Opera character’s life and your REAL life.

Joey: Will we have to talk about anything personal?

Mary: Only if you want to, but don’t worry, I’m a friend of Chandler’s and I wouldn’t want to ruin his friend’s reputation. I’m a VERY FRIENDLY journalist.

Joey: Does that mean I’ll have to sleep with you?

Mary: Excuse me?!

Joey: Uhh...never mind.

Mary: (laughing) So, should I say about noon tomorrow?

Joey: Sure! Here’s my address...(he tells me his addy, *you can imagine any number and street you like*)

Mary: Great! See you tomorrow...(flirty) I’m looking forward to getting, ahem, personal with you. Bye.

Joey: (smiling) Bye...

LATER THAT EVENING

Scene cuts to R and R’s apt. Ross had just finished up cleaning dishes. Rachel hadn’t come out of her room all last night, or all day today. When Ross wanted to see Emma, Monica had taken her out of the room for him. He knows Rachel is still upset about what she heard a couple nights before. But, he decided to hit her soft spot...a really good surprise. Monica had just left the apartment and now Rachel is reading in her bedroom. Ross’s heart is beating a million miles a minute. He showers, puts on a nice clean, button-up shirt and dark-denim jeans. He gets the ring from his drawer, takes it out of the box, and puts it in his shirt pocket. He dims the lights in the living room, and turns on some music. Etta James’ “At Last” is playing softly in the background. He goes over to the other side of the room, and begins to light some candles. Suddenly, Rachel comes out of her room...

Rachel: Ross?

Ross: (startled.) RACHEL! Umm, what, what are you doing out of your room?

Rachel: (slowly) Well, I was a little thirsty...and well, umm...(looks around) are you expecting a date or something?

Ross: (shakes his head) Umm...no. I promised I wouldn’t date, remember? (Rachel just stands there confused.) Is Emma asleep?

Rachel: Yeah, she’s been asleep for about an hour or so.

Ross: Well then, umm...can we talk?

Rachel: (eyeing him weirdly, still unsure) I...guess...(They both walk over to the couch and sit down facing each other.) Is that Etta James? Wow, I love this song.

Ross: Yeah...me too.

Rachel: Okay, so what did you want to talk about?

Ross: Well, first of all, I just want you to know that you were COMPLETELY misinformed. I never had intentions of leaving you and Emma.

Rachel: Yeah, Joey said something like that to me. But he was pretty vague. I didn’t really understand what he was talking about.

Ross: (very nervous) Well, basically...I’ve been doing some thinking about umm, well...US...lately...and I-I didn’t know exactly know what I was feeling, or how to tell you what I was feeling...but I talked to Phoebe about it...and, she helped me understand, I guess...So, I decided to talk to you...and when you were sleeping, I thought that if I could be brave enough to tell you then, I would be able to tell you again when you were actually umm...conscious.

Rachel: I see...

Ross: And, and then I talked to Joey yesterday, and he sort-of convinced me that well, maybe we could give us, I mean maybe we SHOULD give each other another try...but, but I don’t want to JUST give us another chance, I want us to-

Rachel: (cuts him off) Wait, Joey CONVINCED you? You had to be CONVINCED that you had feelings for me?

Ross: You didn’t even let me finish!

Rachel: Ross, were you or were you NOT going to tell me this if Joey hadn’t convinced you to tell me? (Ross stares at her speechless. Rachel looks at him sadly.) I thought so. This conversation is over. (she starts to walk back to her room)

Ross: Rachel, don’t walk away! (She stops to look at him. Ross knows this is his last chance to make things right.) Please. Let’s talk about this. We always avoid our problems, or never finish them with proper closure. Just once...please...we deserve this.

Rachel: (knowing he’s right) Okay.

Ross: (She sits back down. He starts again slowly) I really don’t know where to begin, we have such a huge history...there’s so much I want to say.

Rachel: I know what you mean.

Ross: I guess, I just...you know with us living together, and-and having a baby together... it’s made me think of our history and it’s opened up old wounds...we never resolved anything, it feels like we have unfinished business. And, I don’t want to feel like that anymore, especially now that we have Emma. I just want to get everything out in the open, and tell you how many things I’d do differently, if I could.

Rachel: I agree with getting things out in the open...But, there are things that happened in our past that I don’t regret. No matter how much it’s hurt, I know I probably wouldn’t have done anything differently...

Ross: Really? You mean, you mean there’s NOTHING you would have done differently with us?

Rachel: No...I mean not NOTHING...but I don’t regret breaking up with you after you cheated on me...And even though I meant to stop you and Emily’s wedding, I didn’t. You kind of messed that up yourself...and the whole Vegas thing would’ve been-

Ross: (getting angry) Okay, stop right there! You make it seem like you were a complete ANGEL during the entire relationship! Even though you didn’t ruin things for me and Emily, you ruined all of my other relationships, and-

Rachel: (cutting him off almost angry. She stands up) Exactly how did I RUIN all of your relationships, Ross?!

Ross: (he stands up too.) You took advantage of the fact that I would do ANYTHING to be with you! I was completely vulnerable when it came to you, Rachel. And, and every time I’d try to move on and be happy, there you were, stopping it.

Rachel: (almost yelling) First of all, it is not MY fault I was SO in love with you I couldn’t see straight! Secondly, you could have just said NO.

Ross: (yelling back) You knew DAMN well that I couldn’t say NO! If you really loved me, Rach, why didn’t you just let me be happy?! It’s like, YOU didn’t want me, but you didn’t want ANYBODY else to have me either...Do you know how much that hurts?

Rachel: (tears welled up in her eyes. His last comment stung her heart like nothing she’d ever felt. She pauses for a long time, then says) I’m-I’m sorry, Ross... (then slowly whispers) Why do we always end up arguing, every time we talk about “US” or our past?

They share a very long silence, staring hopelessly at each other, lost for words.

Ross: (Not wanting to say it, but knowing he has to) This is never going to work, is it?

They’re eyes don’t part until a muffled whine comes from Rachel’s bedroom. It then develops into loud sobs. Rachel and Ross simultaneously look at the direction of her bedroom. Rachel takes Ross’s hand, and leads him into her room. He sits at the foot of her bed while Rachel takes Emma from the crib and slowly walks back and forth, cradling her back to sleep. The drapes of the room are open and the moon is shining upon their figures. Ross slowly puts his hand over his heart, where his shirt pocket is, and feels the ring still sitting patiently inside. He fights back tears, stands up, goes to kiss Emma softly on the head, and smiles sadly at Rachel. He leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

Scene fades here...

TO BE CONTINUED W/ PART 3