(takes place in season seven of Friends, and before Scream 3)
[Scene: The hall outside Richard's apartment, little kids in costumes knock on his door, he comes out with a bowl of candy]
Kids: Trick or treat!!!!
Richard: Wow nice costumes (hands out candy)
Kids: (As they leave) Thank you
Richard: Bye, bye (he turns to go back into his apartment, and bumps into someone in the infamous costume) Oh jeez you scared me! Uhh aren't you a little old for this? (The person doesn't move) Fine here (gives them some candy, the person takes out a knife and moves toward Richard with it, he tries to run away but doesn't go fast enough, and oh no! hehe I guess you can tell what happens next ;)
[Scene: Chandler, Monica and Phoebe's, Joey is there dressed as a mailman, Monica comes out of the bedroom dressed like a witch]
Monica: Hey Joey
Joey: Hey Mon happy Halloween
Monica: You too (Phoebe enters from her room, dressed like the Statue or Liberty, and Rachel enters from across the hall as a hula dancer)
Phoebe: Hey
Monica: Hey, honey will you just come out here?
Chandler (os) NO!!!
Monica: I swear they wont laugh at you! Now come on!
Chandler: (os) Alright (comes out of the bedroom, in a superman costume, they try not to laugh then give up) Mooonnn!
Monica: Chandler come on just have a beer and enjoy the party!
Rachel: I don't know why you made up wear costumes, it's just the six of us watching movies!
Monica: Speaking of Joey did you get movies like I told you?
Joey: Yeah (takes movies out of his mailbag)
Monica: (reading the titles) The Salem Sex Trials, I Know Who You Did Last Summer and Naked Yoga, (glares at Joey) ya know you could have got one that wasn't from the porn section!
Joey: I did, Naked Yoga was in fitness
Monica: Great now what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Well we could tell ghost stories....
Chandler: (sarcastic) Then will we go trick or treating?
Joey: You guys should have told me you wanted to go I would have taken you with me (opens his mail bag) I cleaned up!!!!!!!!
Rachel: You actually went trick or treating?
Joey: Yeah, but ya know for some reason people kept giving me their mail!
Chandler: Yeah that is weird! Okay Joey just promise me you won't try to eat all your candy tonight like you did last year!
Joey: Fine, don't try and steal my candy and I wont have to!
Rachel: How did Ross get out of this?
Monica: He went to get snacks
[Scene: The hall, Ross walks up carrying shopping bags, he's dressed in a white coat and a wig and fake mustache so he looks like Einstein, he bumps in to a woman]
Woman (Sidney Prescott): Oh my god I'm sorry (helps him pick up his stuff)
Ross: It's okay
Sidney: Thanks uhhh Albert
Ross: Ummm I'm going to Halloween party......
Sidney: Yeah, yeah I figured so
Ross: Do you wanna come?
Sidney: Oh thanks but I have stuff I have to do
Ross: Oh......well maybe we could.....ummm...go to for drinks sometime?
Sidney: Okay sure, you could show me around the city
Ross: You new here?
Sidney: Yeah I just moved here from California
Ross: Wow, so I'll see you tomorrow
Sidney: Yeah sure (leaves, Ross giggles and goes into Monica's)
Ross: Hey guys I just got a date with the new neighbor!
Joey: Duuu-uuude! That is nasty!
Rachel: What?
Joey: The new person is a guy!
Ross: What?
Joey: Yeah some bastard who wouldn't give me any candy
Ross: (everyone is staring at Ross) What oh come oh he probably is her roommate or something!
Phoebe: Yeah typical denial (Ross glares at her)
[Scene: The street, Ross, Sidney, Chandler, and Monica and going home after their double date]
Sidney: Oh that guy? Yeah that's my roommate Dewey
Ross: Ha! I knew it
Monica: God Ross calm down it was Phoebe that said it not me (they run into a crowd) I wonder what's going on? (they wheel one of those things they put people on to be put into ambulances, the sheet falls off and you can clearly see Richard's body) Oh my god! It's Richard!!!!!! (buries her head in Chandler's shoulder, they re-cover him then put him into the ambulance)
Ross: Oh my god!
Chandler: I know! (a cop carries out an evidence bag with the mask in it, Sidney sees and turns very pale)
Ross: Sidney? Sidney you okay?
Sidney: T, take me home, now!!!!!!!!
Ross: Okay
[Scene: Sidney, and Dewey's apartment, enter Sidney, Dewey is watching Tv, they are talking about the murder on the news]
Dewey: Sid-
Sidney: I know
Dewey: You do?
Sidney: I saw the body, and the mask
Dewey: Sid-
Sidney: It's happening again!
Dewey: I don't know, I don't think it would but just incase you have a gun right?
Sidney: Yes
Dewey: Good, we'll be okay (Sidney nods, they hug uncertainly)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, the phone rings, Rachel gets it]
Rachel: Hello?
THE voice: Hello Rachel
Rachel: Hi.....can I help you?
The voice: I don't know
Rachel: Who is this?
The voice: Who do you think?
Rachel: Joey is that you? Nice try Tribbiani!
The voice: Ya scared?
Rachel: No
The voice: I bet I can scare you
Rachel: Pfft doubt it not much scares me after I saw that picture of your dad in a speed-o
The voice: Oh yeah well open the door
Rachel: (Playing along) Fine (opens the door) Oh my god it's a hallway!!! Noooooo!!!!! haha come on Joey.
The voice: I'm not done yet, go to the trash room
Rachel: Okay (goes into the room where to trash shoot is) I don't see anything other than that you've jammed it with pizza boxes again
The voice: Those aren't pizza boxes
Rachel: They're not?
The voice: Nope
Rachel: (laughing) Then what are they? (opens it too see that it's jammed with Mr. Treeger or what used to be Mr. Treeger) AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The voice: hahaha
Rachel: Who are you?
The voice: I'm the guy who's going to be killing you
Rachel: Look if this is some kind of sick joke-
The voice: No joke Rachel
Rachel: Your bluffing
The voice: Oh am I? Are you so sure? (Rachel looks around in a panic) By the way your left shoe is untied (Rachel looks down and sees that her show is indeed united)
Rachel: Oh my god!
The voice: (laughs)
Rachel: (turns off the phone and runs back into her apartment, then locks the door and looks out the peep hole, the phone rings again, Rachel screams then answers it) Just leave me alone okay!!!!!!!
Ross: Okay fine, I guess I'll ask Phoebe if she wants to see a movie with me then
Rachel: Oh my god Ross it's you!
Ross: (concerned) Yeah, are you okay?
Rachel: Umm I don't know, uhh something is happening
Ross: Do you want me to come over?
Rachel: Uhhh.......(looks out the peep hole again their is no one to be seen in the hall) uh yeah okay but just hurry and be very careful!
Ross: Okay I'll be right there
Rachel: Okay bye (hangs up, then turns around, and guess who's there that's right THE guy) AHHHHH!!!!!!!! (she throws the phone at him, it hits him in the face)
The guy: Ouff!!!! (Rachel runs out the door, and across the hall)
Rachel: (pounding on M&C's door) Guys!! Open up, let me in Monica, Chandler!!!!!!!! (the guy walks out of her apartment, then corners her she sinks to the floor then winches)
Ross: Rach!
Rachel: (looking up) Ross, omg where is he?
Ross: Where's who?
Rachel: (looks confused)
[Scene: The trash room, Ross, Rachel and two police officers are there]
Rachel: He's right in there! (the cop opens the trash shoot, nothing is there) Wha? What no he was right there I saw him!
Cop 1: I don't fine this funny ma'am!!!!!
Rachel: I'm making this up he was there and he was dead, I swear!!
Cop 2: Yeah, right (to the other guy) come on lets go (they leave, Rachel breaks down crying, Ross hugs her)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's, Ross and Rachel are there]
Ross: Feeling better now?
Rachel: Yeah.......I'm not lying Ross he really was dead
Ross: I believe you
Rachel: You do?
Ross: Yeah, something definitely scared you, and I don't think you'd make something like that up
Rachel: Thanks (smiles)
Ross: Excuse me (goes to the bathroom, the phone rings, Rachel gets it)
The voice: (laughs, then hangs up, Rachel looks really worried)
[Scene: C&M's, Rachel is telling everyone else about what happened]
Chandler: Oh my god!
Monica: Yeah I mean no way!
Rachel: Look it's true okay!!! (Ross comforts her)
Monica: No, no honey we believe you it's just a shock
Joey: Treeger, man it's so...wow!
Rachel: I know and I saw his...his body
Monica: Okay Rachel, why don't we go to the coffee house? Take your mind off things.
Rachel: Okay
[Scene: The coffee house, the gang is there, enter Sidney]
Sidney: Hey
All: Hey
Monica: Oh hey there's a good movie on in 10 minuets want to go to it?
All: Sure
Ross: Sid you want to come with us?
Sidney: Sure
Joey: I gotta go to the bathroom first (leaves)
-*time laps*- 40 minuets later
Chandler: Man what is taking Joey so long (they all get up and go to that bathroom)
Chandler: (nocks on this door) Joe? You having that problem again.......Joey? (Chandler, opens the door, everyone looks in and what they see umm well it isn't pretty, they all scream)
Sidney: Oh my god! Come on (grabs Ross's and Phoebe's hands, they all rush up to the apartment)
All: What's going on!?/He, he's dead!/Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!!! (they go into Sidney's apartment, and into her bedroom she gets a gun out of her night stand)
Sidney: It's okay we just have to stay alive until the police get here, (walks over to Dewey's room, and opens the door) Dewey we- AHHHHHH!!!!!! (Dewey is lying on his bed with a knife in his side)
Rachel: Okay I have seen just about enough dead bodies!
Sidney: Okay let's get out of- (the phone rings, Rachel gets it)
Rachel: Hello?
The voice: hehe find your friend Joey, Rachel?
Rachel: Why are you doing this?
The voice: I don't know why don't you ask Sidney!! (hangs up)
Chandler: What does that mean?
Monica: Who are you?
Sidney: (gets a book off the bookshelf, she opens it it has pictures and articles about the Woodsbrough murders)
Phoebe: Your Sidney Prescott?
Rachel: I knew you looked familiar! (Ross comes back in from the hall)
Ross: Guys Treegers body is in the hall he have to get out of here now!
Sidney: Where did you go?
Ross: To call the police
Sidney: We have a phone
Ross: Well I thought you didn't.....what why is everyone looking at me like that? (Sidney points her gun at him and shoots, it misses) Whoa guys you don't actually think that I, I would kill my best friend?]
Sidney: You where gone just now
Rachel: And you where in the bathroom that second time I got called
Phoebe: And you left while Joey was in the bathroom (Flashback* Ross gets up saying he needs a drink of water)
Ross: Guys come it's me! You think I would do this?
Sidney: This happening twice has taught me that you can't trust anyone (aims again, Ross runs out before she can shoot) We have to find him and call the police)
All: Okay (they start walking through the hall, The Guy, jumps out from behind them and grabs Phoebe and stabs, her the gang stops but Sidney pushes them on)
Sidney: Go move, run! (they do so, in the lobby they stop)
Monica: Wait, wait where's Chandler?
Rachel: I, I don't know
Monica: Oh my god! Chandler!
All: Chandler, Chandler!!!!!! (the elevator comes down and Chandler's you know what (I'm sick of saying body) followed my the killer, Sidney attempts to shoot but her gun is out of bullets)
The guy: (puts the voice thingy up to his mouth) Out of ammo? hehe (he pulls out a gun) Well this is loaded, now move it up the stairs! (they go)
[Scene: C&M's enter Rachel, Monica, Sidney and the masked guy, the you know what's are laying all around including Chandler's]
The guy: Now as for you (points the gun at Monica and shoots her in the shoulder, she falls down)
Rachel: Oh my god Ross you killed your own sister!
The guy: Oh? Well maybe you should tell him (hauls Ross out from behind the couch, he's tied up and gaged)
Sidney: What?! Then who are you? (the guy pulls of the mask, it's.....) Gail?
Gail Weathers: Surprise
Sidney: But why?
Gail: Because you little bitch! Your the famous one! I'm just the one that gets punched! Well (punches Sidney)
Rachel: Well why did you kill my Friends we had nothing to do with her!
Gail: Well I got an acompise (Gunther walks out of Phoebe's room)
Rachel: Gunther?
Gunther: Uh hu Gunther!
Gail: Tie em up!
Gunther: Hey your not-
Gail: Now!!! (Gunther gumbles and does so)
-Time laps- (they are all tied up, Ross and Rachel are next to eachother on the couch)
Gail: Okay now we're all comfortable? Good
Rachel: Gunther! Why are you doing this?
Gunther: Because...I love you
Rachel: What?
Gunther: But no, no Miss I Don't Even Notice Gunther!
Ross: What about me what did I do?
Gunther: What did you do?! (looks at Rachel) That's what you did! You stole the woman I love!
Rachel: But Gunther why kill us? Our gang were you best customers!
Gunther: Ha! I can get more caffine addicted losers! (loads his gun)
Ross: Rachel?
Rachel: What?
Ross: We're about to die aren't we?
Rachel: Yep
Ross: Well I just want you to know that......I love you
Rachel: (they are both crying) I love you too (Gunther punches Ross)
Ross: Ugh!
Gunther: Bastard! (he puts his gun to Ross's head, and Gail puts her's on Rachel's) I'm sorry Rachel (tries to kiss her but she moves her head away) Maybe I'm not sorry (Ross and Rachel grab eachother's hands as Gunther and Gail pull the triggers, OMG how sad is this!!!)
Gail: Now it's your turn (she shoots.......Gunther not Sidney)
Sidney: What the hell?
Gail: Stupid loser, I put him out of his misery
Sidney: Your fucked up! (hey this is suppose to be a Scream movie)
Gail: Thank you (pulls the barrel back on her gun, a shot is fired and Gail falls over dead, Monica is there holding Gunther's gun)
[Scene: The police are taking away the bodies (other than the gang's), and careing for Dewey who yet again lived! :)]
Monica: (the police all leave for a minuet, Monica looks around) Oh my god you guys (cries) I'm so sorry! (burries her head in her hands)
Rachel: Don't be
Monica: What? But your dead!
Phoebe: Pfft you can't kill the undead stupid!
Monica: Undead?
Ross: Yes undead (he smiles, and bear his long fangs)
Monica: Your a vampire?
Joey: Duh! We all are! (they all show their teeth)
Chandler: Yep and if we're gonna get married you'll have to become one too
Monica: Well too late (takes something out of her mouth, it's a fake teeth thing) I'm one too
Joey: Crap! No free meal!
Chandler: There's all the cops who came to take away the bodies.....
All: Okay good!
Rachel: But first....Ross did you really mean it when you said you loved me?
Ross: Yes, I did, I've always loved you
Rachel: I meant it too, I love you (they kiss, C&M smile and kiss also, Joey and Phoebe look at each other shurg and then give each other a quick kiss, they all poof of smoke into bats then fly out the window into the night)
The End
* Happy Halloween, love Sandpiper
- October 31, 2000