The Wedding Planner

(something's from the show are changed to fit the movie. Such as Rachel and her father are Italian even though they are not on the show, and Rachel's mother and father had a happy marriage and didn't get divorced. Guys I'm sorry if this is too much like the movie but it's the first time I've ever written this kind of fic okay!!!! Some scene's are totally different, some I actually wrote verbatim for the movie so just keep an open mind.)

[Scene: A bedroom, there is a big doll house in the corner. Three Ken dolls are set up out side the house, one is dressed as a photographer, one as a priest, and one as the groom. On the bed there is a Barbie doll that is wearing a wedding dress.]

Rachel: (6 years old) Come on, today's the big day! (picks up the Barbie) You don't want to be late! (she runs over and sits down in front of the doll house, she moves the Barbie down the isle, which is made out of soda straws, while humming the Wedding March in her cute little voice)

(a couple seconds later)

Rachel: You may now kiss the bride! (makes the two dolls kiss, then puts down the Ken and looks at the Barbie) From now on you'll take care of him and he'll take care of you, he'll make you big bologna sandwiches, and you'll buy him new socks and a white brief case, you are the luckiest girl in the world Barbie, yep the luckiest girl in the world.

[Cut to: A very nervous bride standing in front of a mirror]

Rachel: (grown up) You are the luckiest girl in the world! When I did Whitney Huston's wedding the was a lot more nervous than you, and you look much better than her!

Bride: No I don't! I look fat!! And I'm marrying the wrong man!

Rachel: Okay look at me, you are exquisite, (touches her chin lightly) your timeless, and last night at the rehearsal dinner I heard your future husband say "I can't believe she picked me, I can't believe I'm marrying the most wonderful woman I have ever met."

Bride: (smiles) Oh thank you Rachel, thank you!!!!!

Rachel: (they hug) Oh your welcome! (walks up to the main room where the wedding will be giving orders as she goes, passes a place where Monica is talking to some guy) Hey, Mon, work now, flirt later okay! 

Monica: (rolls her eyes and walks off)

Rachel: (goes over to a video monitor of the entire church, a man comes up to her)

Man: Rachel, we can't find the father of the bide

Rachel: Okay, (into her walkie talkie) Mon send of the father of the bride

Monica: I did a few minutes ago

Rachel: (worried) Okay I'm on it (turns around and bumps into the flower girl) No not yet sweetie. Wait just a second, kay? (smiles and pats her on the shoulder then rushes off, she goes down the hall opening doors as she goes) Yoo hoo, come out, come out where ever you are! (she see the father of the bride sitting on the stairs) Okay, found him! (puts away the walkie talkie, and goes over to him)

FOB: (very drunk) My little girl's getting married today! (Rachel takes out a bottle of cologne and sprays him with it) I remember the day she started kindergarten.....(starts to cry) like it was yesterday!!!!! (Rachel takes a small bottle of something out of her coat and pours a small cup for him)

Rachel: Here drink this it'll make you feel better

FOB: Who are you?

Rachel: I'm the wedding planner.

[Scene: The church, the father of the bride is better now, he takes his daughter's hand and they walk down the isle. Rachel takes her place beside Monica on the balcony and looks proudly over her work]

Rachel: (laughs) I can't not believe you Mon! You cry at every wedding we plan!

Monica: (crying a little) Well at least I have some sentiment, it shows people we care! (takes a tissue out of her pocket) What are you so happy about?

Rachel: I got a phone call a minute ago, Phoebe Buffay got engaged!

Monica: Really? When? I never heard that!

Rachel: About 5 minutes ago!

Monica: What?! Oh my god Rach, I swear, you are like a sleazy ambulance chasing wedding planner! They probably won't even want us to do their wedding!

Rachel: Yeah well, we'll just see. (smiles)

[Scene: A big hall, there are several tables there with people sitting at them playing scrabble]

Rachel: Earwax, E on a double letter, A on a triple word.

Leonard: No way! Earwax is two words!

Rachel: No it's not it's one!

Old Woman: (I don't remember her name in the movie so I'm just gonna call her Edna) Smudge! 16 points

Bert: (old, thin, African American man) 16? (takes down the score)

Leonard: Sweet pea, I know I'm a pain in the neak, but I just want you to be happy. You may not like the idea but I have a man who has agreed to marry you!

Rachel: What?!

Edna: If her mother was alive and she heard that she'd wish she was dead!

Leonard: It's Joey Tribbiani!

Rachel: Who?

Leonard: The little boy you played with that summer we were in Italy, remember the one who had seven sisters?

Rachel: The kid who ate mud?!?!

Leonard: Yeah that's the one

Rachel: (shakes her head and says sarcastically) Oh my god this is the happiest day of my life! A man of my very own! You must bring me to him at once!!

Leonard: No need he's here now! (gets up)

Rachel: What he's here?!?!?! (Leonard goes around the corner and comes back with Joey) Oh crap! (buries her head in her hands) 

Joey: Hey

Rachel: (fake smile) Hi

Joey: I remember when you had braces and a big nose

Rachel: (pause) Charming

Joey: (smiles) How you doin'?

Rachel: (fake smiles again, she gets up and leaves with out another word)

[Scene: Rachel goes into her boss's office and drops a magazine on the woman's desk]

Rachel: Phoebe Buffay! Two years ago her and her brother started selling new age trinkets online, today they are one of the biggest internet companies in the country!

Joanne: (same woman as Rachel's boss at Blooming dales) She's getting married?

Rachel: Yes! I'm going to get this account, we'll be in every major bridal magazine!

Joanne: Good!

Rachel: An in return your gonna make me a partner!

Joanne: (surprised) A partner!!!! (laughs) Okay, Rachel your great but, I created this company, I made the sacrifices, I worked my butt off, I-

Rachel: You never made any money.........until you hired me!

Joanne: UGH WOW!

Rachel: Come on Joanne! I've been here for years! I make more money than all your other wedding planners combined!

Joanne: Rachel-

Rachel: Times 5!!!! You need me!

Joanne: (sarcastically) I do huh?

Rachel: Yes, and you know you need me!

Joanne: I don't know that

Rachel: Okay, okay, fine maybe I just need to start my own company.

Joanne: What?!

Rachel: But ya know if I were to be made a partner then I wouldn't have to go to the trouble of renting office space.

[Scene: Rachel's office, Monica and Rachel are there]

Monica: Oh my god I can't believe your gonna be a partner!!!!!

Rachel: Yeah, but I have to get the account first

Monica: Oh please you'll definitely get it! Your the best!

Rachel: Thanks Mon (smiles) Oh hey I gotta go, I have a wedding in three hours, and Buffay is gonna be there to see my work!

Monica: Okay, good luck! Hey wait before you go, the Greenberg marriage lasted one year and two months you win the bet again!!!! (hands her some money) How do you do that!

Rachel: I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton John, every couple who picks that as their wedding song only lasts one year and two months.

Monica: Well speaking of, Gunther was asking about you again.

Rachel: UGH okay Mon I appreciate the thought but I am not going to date the guy from the coffee house you like to hang out at!

Monica: You haven't been on a date in two years!

Rachel: Your point?

Monica: Nothing, it just makes you one of the most pathetic people in New York!

Rachel: (laughs) My best friend, ladies and gentlemen!!!!

Monica: Well if your not interested in Gunther, then there is a gorgeous Italian man in the lobby waiting to marry you. (We see Joey standing in the lobby)

Rachel: Oh my god!!!! (ducks behind a pillar)

Monica: (laughing) He is so cute!!

Rachel: He is not cute!

Monica: What are you nuts?!

Rachel: He followed me around for an entire summer asking me if I had a vagina!!

Monica: That is SO adorable!

Rachel: (looks at her) Okay, Mon it's official now, you are twisted!

Monica: (glares at her)

Rachel: Here (climbs on to a cart of clothes) push me out on this

Monica: (takes the cart and starts pushing her out through the lobby as she hides behind the clothes) Ya know Rach I don't think you should hold that against him, he was just a little boy!

Rachel: Shhh!!!!!

Monica: (whispers) Maybe he wanted to by a gynecologist! Besides you do have a vagina!!!! (a woman looks at her weirdly as she says this, Monica smiles a little then just keeps walking)

[Scene: The wedding reception, Rachel is in the catering tent giving the best man his speech through an ear piece]

Phoebe: (she looks like she did in TO That Could Have Been except her hair is long and she doesn't smoke) Oh I see you just like gave the best man his speech.

Rachel: Yeah

Phoebe: Kewl

Rachel: So I read the article about you in Yahoo magazine, it was fascinating. 

Phoebe: Aww thank you. (looks around) Wow, this is gorgeous! I wish my fiancé were here too see it!

Rachel: Yeah well most grooms aren't into details. I once had this one groom that when ever we asked his opinion on something he would say "I don't give a tiny rat's ass!"

Phoebe: Yeah that sounds like my guy! Oh hey, come on over here. This is my brother Frank and his wife Alice, this is Rachel the wedding planner

Rachel: Hi, nice to meet you

Frank: Hi

Alice: Hi, well this is amazing everything's so fancy! 

Frank: Hey ya know you give my sister what ever she wants we can afford it cuz ya know our business. (they all laugh)

Alice: I remember our wedding

Frank: Yeah (they start making out)

Phoebe: Okay, okay first we haven't hired her yet and second stop it right now! We don't want to make these nice people sick on their wedding day!

Frank/Alice: Sorry

Alice: So, what do you see for a wedding?

Rachel: For you I see a beautiful garden, with tents, and candles, and........exotic tropical flowers from Hawaii. (we see Frank, Alice, and Phoebe entranced by the picture Rachel has given them)

[Scene: Rachel is walking down the street, she gets out her phone and dials]

Rachel: Hey Joanne it's Rachel! Prepare the papers cuz I nailed the Buffay account!!! (pause) Yeah they wanna get married on July 1st though so we only have 3 months (pause) I know, we'll have to hurry (pause) Okay, hey will you put me though to Monica's office please? (pause) Thank you! (Rachel starts to cross the street) Mon guess what! (she steps on a sewer drain and gets the heel of her shoe caught in one of the holes) OHH!! Hold on just a second! (tries to pull her foot out as a cab driver come around the corner, he's eating an ice cream cone, he goes over a bump and drops the ice cream he lets go of the wheel to pick it up and since he's not watching where he's going hits a dumpster causing it to roll down a hill toward Rachel) Oh my god!!!! I'll call you back!!! (hangs up the phone) Oh no, no!!!! (starts to run away but her foot comes out of the shoe and it is still stuck in the drain) UGH!!!! My new shoe!!!!! (goes back to try to get it out, the dumpster comes closer and closer and she still can't get the shoe out, on the other side of the street Ross puts his cup of coffee on top of his car and gets out his keys, he notices what's happening, so he rushes over to Rachel and grabs her just before she gets hit by the dumpster. The roll over and over and he ends up on top of her.)

Ross: Oh!!! God! Are you okay?

Rachel: (she's kinda in shock) I'm great...where's my shoe?

Ross: Your shoe? (looks at her hand) You got it right here. Now are you sure your okay? 

Rachel: Kinda having trouble breathing.....although you are on top of me cutting off my air supply.

Ross: (laughs) That's true (gets off her) You see that dumpster there? It tried to kill you.

Rachel: (Sits up) You saved.........my shoe (shakes her head) I mean, my life!

Ross: (laughs again) Well I was going for the shoe you were just an extra. Do you feel like you can stand up? (helps her slowly stand up, she wobbles a little, he grabs her) It's okay, I've got you take your time. (he holds her so she's leaning against his neak)

Rachel: (closes her eyes) You smell like sweet red plums and..............grilled cheese sandwiches (after that she faints totally unconscious, Ross catches her and picks her up before she hits the ground)

Ross: Yeah I get that all the time (walks off)

[Scene: Rachel is laying in a bed in a hospital, three kids are sitting on the bed looking at her]

Girl: Yep, she's dead alright!

Girl 2: Think she's going to heaven?

Boy: Definitely, she's got the cleanest toes I've ever seen (takes the blanket and covers her feet up)

*Note: I think that is the cutest line in the entire movie!!!*

Rachel: (slowly wakes up) Where am I?

Girl: Your in the children's ward of St. Vincent's Hospital

Rachel: (rubs her eyes, and notices the neck brace) Oh my god!!!! I'm paralyzed!!!!! I'M PARALYZED!!!!!!

Boy: If your moving your arms and legs your clearly not paralyzed!

Rachel: (thinks for a second) Oh.....

Ross: (entering) BOO!!!!!

Kids: (scream)

Ross: (screams back) So how's our patient doing?

Girl: It was touch and go there for a while

Ross: Oh really well why don't you go find her doctor, for a second opinion, okay? (the kids leave)

Rachel: Your the guy.....

Ross: Ross Geller

Rachel: I'm-

Ross: Rachel Green, I know I had to go through your wallet to get your name, I've never seen someone alphabetize their credit cards before

Rachel: You think that's bad you should meet my friend. Are you a doctor?

Ross: No, I just came a long to make sure your okay.

Rachel: Oh hmmm are those your kids?

Ross: The boy is, and the two girls are his friends from school, my ex-wife and lesbian lover needed a baby sitter today.

Rachel: (laughs)

Ross: Was that too much information?

Rachel: (smiles) Just a little

Ross: Okay then (looks a little embarrassed) well I'll just go find your doctor

Rachel: Okay

Ross: (goes off)

[Scene: The waiting room, Carol and Susan are there Ross gives the kids to them, as Rachel walks out. She is now dressed and the neck brace has been removed.]

Ross: Oh hey

Rachel: Hi.....I take it that's the ex-wife and lesbian lover? (looks after Carol and Susan)

Ross: (laughs sheepishly) Yeah

Rachel: (smiles)

Ross: So your okay?

Rachel: Oh yeah the doctor said I was going to be fine

Ross: That's good. So.....you need a ride home?

Rachel: Yeah, thanks

Ross: Okay (turns around) Uh oh, hmmm....Ben left his backpack I'm just gonna catch up with them real quick, I'll be right back

Rachel: Okay (he rushes off, Rachel smiles and  walks around the room waiting, she passes in front of a mirror and grimaces at her appearance. She takes her hair down and smoothes it out, then puts on some lip gloss. Ross comes back just as she finishes)

Ross: Hey, back

Rachel: Oh...good

Monica: (down the hall) What do you mean?! Why was she near a dumpster anyway?!?!

Rachel: Monica!

Monica: Oh my god Rachel!!! (goes over and hugs her)

Rachel: Wha? How did you find me here?

Monica: Well the nurse saw my number taped to your palm pilot and- (notices Ross {they aren't brother and sister....they just aren't!!!!}) Is...is this the guy who saved you? 

Ross: Well I'd hardly call it a rescue

Monica: Well I guess your just sort of a modern day hero (smiles really big, Rachel covers her eyes with one hand in embarrassment)

Ross: (confused) I suppose you might say that

Monica: Well, in that case you have to go out with us to night as a thank you. We were going to Central Park, they show old movies on the side of the museum.

Ross: Well....

Monica: We won't take no for an answer!

Rachel: Mon will you leave him alone!

Ross: Oh you don't want me to go?

Rachel: No, no that's-

Monica: (cutting her off) Of course she wants you to go! Well are you a doctor? Are you working tonight?

Ross: No I'm not a doctor I'm a paleontologist.

Monica: A paleontologist! Really?!?! Wow that is so perfect cuz I've always found dinosaurs just....fascinating! And I would love to have a discussion with a professional. (smiles again, Rachel glares at her)

[Scene: Central Park that night, there is a carnival set up and several people are sitting on blankets on the grass. Rachel and Monica are there]

Rachel: It's not a date!

Monica: Trust me I know what's best for you. I am going to get you over this Barry thing once and for all.

Rachel: Monica no! Don't your dare leave me alone with him! Do you hear me don't you dare-

Ross: (comes back over to them carrying a try of coffee) Hey

Rachel/Monica: Hi!!!

Ross: Here's your gum balls (hands Monica the gumballs)

Monica: Oh thank you, so.......oh no!!! I just remembered I promised my friend's, brother's...godmother that I would...help her change her fax cartridge, tonight because she is going out of town.......on an African Safari. (Ross and Rachel both look at her, Ross looks like he's trying not to laugh, Rachel just shakes her head) Well.....I'm sorry we're not gonna get to have that-

Ross: That dinosaur chat, right!

Monica: So.....(puts a gumball in her mouth and bites down then she walks off)

Ross: Wow, I hope her friend's, brother's, godmother is...gonna be okay

Rachel: (laughs) Ummm.....they have reserve seating

Ross: Okay (they walk over to, Bert from the scrabble club, he is wearing a red uniform)

Rachel: Hey Bert, you saving my tree for me?

Bert: Yeah, it's right over there all set up with your blanket

Rachel: Thanks

Bert: It's about time you had a date

Rachel: It's not a-

Bert: (to Ross) So what do you do for a living?

Rachel: BERT!!

Ross: I'm uhh...a paleontologist

Bert: Oh a paleontologist.

Rachel: (in a warning tone) Bert......

Bert: Okay, I can take a hint, I'll see you at scrabble practice

Rachel: Okay (they walk toward the tree) I'm sorry about that

Ross: What was that back there? "I'll see you at scrabble practice?" 

Rachel: (sits down) Don't ask

Ross: Aww come on!

Rachel: (sips her coffee) I am part of a scrabble club....pathetic I know

Ross: (sits down) Wow

Rachel: What?

Ross: That is pathetic

Rachel: Shut up! At least I can spell what can you do?

Ross: Ummm.....throw a mean yo-yo

Rachel: Hahaha okay no more caramel corn for you (takes the bag away from him)

Ross: Seriously how did you get into it?

Rachel: Well.....my parents joined the scrabble club when they moved here so they could learn English, and after my mom died, my dad became like obsessed with the game and always wanted me to play with him, so....I guess I was destined.

Ross: Oh...C-O-O-L

Rachel: What happened to your hand?

Ross: Ummm you fell on it

Rachel: Oh sorry

Ross: So where would someone go to see a scrabble match? (the movie starts)

Rachel: Shhh....it's starting

[Time laps: The couple on the screen starts dancing. A few of the people on the grass get up and start dancing too, Rachel glances at Ross]

Rachel: You wanna dance?

Ross: Oh well, I don't know I haven't danced in a long time.

Rachel: (slightly disappointed, but not showing it) Okay

Bert: (from behind the tree) If a girl asks you to dance, you dance!

Rachel: Bert!!!!

Ross: (laughs) No, no Bert's right. Rachel I would love to dance.

Rachel: Well ya know no pressure!

Ross: Too late

Rachel: (laughs)

[Scene: Ross and Rachel are dancing]

Rachel: Where did you learn to dance like this

Ross: Ballroom class

Rachel: Oh your gay!!!

Ross: Of course!

Rachel: (trying to figure out if he's kidding or not) Oh.....

Ross: No, my grandma put me in dance class with......

Rachel: With what?

Ross: Money she won in vegas

Rachel: Wow a lesbian ex-wife and grandmother who gambles you must have a very interesting family.

Ross: (laughs, they keep dancing for a couple minutes)

Rachel: YMCA

Ross: What?

Rachel: My next scrabble match is at the YMCA in Queens, maybe you should be there.

Ross: Maybe you shouldn't step on my foot

Rachel: Did I?

Ross: Yes

Rachel: I'm sorry

Ross: It's okay, just don't do it again

Rachel: Don't tell me what to do.

Ross: I don't- (he stops in the middle of what he was about to say, they look at each other for a moment, then very slowly lean in to kiss, but just as their lips are about to meet it starts to rain. They look up at the sky then Ross grabs her hand and they run for cover)

[Scene: A ballroom, a big family is dancing to old fashioned Greek music, and throwing plates]

Monica: (screams and ducks out of the way of a plate) Stop it!!! Are you crazy you can't throw plates in the Ritz Carlton!!!!

(Rachel and Phoebe are standing to the side discussing wedding arrangements)

Phoebe: So I was thinking about Teal for the brides maid's gown's

Rachel: (just looks at some papers)

Phoebe: Rach!

Rachel: Huh? Oh I'm sorry, yeah Teal is good.

Phoebe: So what's up with you? You can't stop smiling!

Rachel: I'm not smiling (smiles) Okay maybe I am

Phoebe: So who is he

(Monica tries to stop a guy from throwing another plate, he drops the plate and grabs her by her waist and spins her around)

Phoebe: Oh my gosh that is so romantic, he saved your life, you danced under the stars, and kissed in the rain

Rachel: Almost kissed

Phoebe: Well either way

Rachel: Oh I don't know Pheebs I've been so out of the dating thing

Phoebe: No way! Really?

Rachel: Yeah

Phoebe: You could marry this guy in three months with my help

Rachel: Okay hold up there, your getting a little a head of yourselves, I don't even know if we're gonna see each other again.

Phoebe: (giggles)

Monica: (runs over to Rachel carrying a stack of plates) Rachel!!!! Rachel I can't stop them you've got to help me!

Rachel: Well you know what they say if you can't beat them (picks up a plate and drops it on the floor) join them

Monica: Rachel what is with you?!?!

Phoebe: She met a guy

Monica: (gasp) You met a guy?! You mean.....

Rachel: (nods)

Monica: (screams and drops the whole stack of plates, the ushers run over and grab her then lift her onto their shoulders)

Rachel: I owe you one!

Monica: You do! You owe me one!!!! (the ushers carry her away)

[Scene: A dance class, Rachel comes over to the front counter with a couple]

Rachel: Hi, they are going to be signing up for six classes

Receptionist: Okay no problem

Rachel: Good (Rachel goes in and looks around)

Phoebe: Rachel!!

Rachel: Pheeb's, hey what are you doing here? I thought you said your class was on Friday!

Phoebe: We had to change it, but this is perfect now you can meet my fiancé. (turns around and taps a guy on the back) Honey, this is Rachel the wedding planner, (the guy turns around and it's Ross!!!!) Rachel this is my fiancé Ross. (Ross and Rachel both look shocked.)

Ross: (after a second, he shakes her hand) Hi

Rachel: Hi

Phoebe: Rach are you okay?

Rachel: Yeah, I'm juuuuust great!

Phoebe: (her phone rings) Hello? Oh hi Frank, no wait hold on there's lots of static I can't hear you hold on.....

Instructor: Okay people over here lets get started. 

Phoebe: Rachel will you dance with him?

Rachel/Ross: NO!

Instructor: (comes over to them) Come on let's go I'd like to still be young when this class is over!!!

Phoebe: She's with him!

Instructor: Okay (starts pushing them toward the middle of the room)

Phoebe: Be careful of his thumb he hurt it saving some old lady.

Rachel: (glares at him)

Ross: (to the instructor) I have a prior engagement

Rachel: That's an interesting choice of words

Instructor: Okay here we have a fear of dance, so just dance and get over it! Music please!!!! (a tango starts playing, Ross and Rachel look at each other)

Ross: Okay....Rachel would you like to dance?

Rachel: (sighs, the instructor pushes them together, and they start dancing) Old lady huh?

Ross: Well.......

Rachel: And you just didn't think to tell me you were engaged?

Ross: You didn't ask

Rachel: Ha don't give me that. You don't want to get married!

Ross: Oh really?

Rachel: I see it all the time.

Ross: You see what?!

Rachel: Your just pathetic and confused looking to get some hot popper wherever you can!

Ross: You are the one that's confused!

Rachel: Oh really then why'd you tell your fiancé you saved an old lady?

Ross: Doesn't answer

Rachel: Exactly!!!! And why did you go to the movies with me?

Ross: Why? Well let's see I had the night and a movie sounded good, that's why!

Rachel: You think you can double talk your way out of this? Throw me off your scent? Oh no I smell you!

Ross: (dips her) Yeah, and I smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches!

Rachel: (looks at him) What?!

Ross: That's what you said to me before you passed out the other day.

Rachel: I did not!!!

Ross: You did too! And while we're on it why did you ask me to dance

Rachel: I didn't!

Ross: Yes you did you said Ross would you like to dance?

Rachel: I'm sure I didn't but even if I did I'm not the one who's engaged!

Ross: Okay so we danced, big deal it's just a dance it didn't mean anything!

Rachel: (they stop) Then why did you almost kiss me?

Ross: (just looks at her, they notice after a minute that the music has stopped and everyone in the room is looking at them)

Instructor: This pair! This lovely couple they know what it takes! (everyone claps)

Phoebe: (goes over to them) We gotta go guys!

[Scene: Outside, Rachel, Ross and Phoebe are there]

Phoebe: So when Frank mentioned I was like of course that would be a great place to get married!

Rachel: Yes it would

Phoebe: So I booked us there for the weekend so we can look around

Ross: Good, well Rachel it was nice meeting you (holds out his hand, Rachel looks irritated but still shakes it)

Phoebe: No wait, she coming with us!

Ross/Rachel: She is?!/I am?!

[Scene: Rachel's office, Monica and Rachel are there]

Monica: You are not quitting the Buffay wedding!!!!

Rachel: Mon I have to okay!

Monica: No! I don't understand this! There's no reason to quit unless you like.....I don't know....fell in love with the groom!

Rachel: (looks down)

Monica: You? Your kidding right?!

Rachel: I.....I don't know. Mon!!!! (bangs her head on the wall a couple times) It's the paleontologist!

Monica: I thought you said you fell in love with the groom!

Rachel: Monica! The paleontologist is the groom! He's Phoebe Buffay's fiancé! 

[Scene: Ross and Chandler are playing golf (I know Chandler kinda got cheated in this fic but the only role I could find for him only had one scene)]

Chandler: The dumpster girl is your wedding planner?!

Ross: Yes! Dude I am in hell here!

Chandler: And I'm in heaven now you can set me up with her!

Ross: No way man!!

[Scene: Rachel's office]

Monica: Okay look at the bright side, he got you to open up again, thank the bastard and move on!!!

Rachel: Why?

Monica: Because you deserve this partnership! Don't tell me you would sacrifice your entire career over this!

[Scene: Ross and Chandler playing golf]

Chandler: Don't tell me you think marrying Phoebe is a mistake now?

Ross: Huh? No, no, of course not. Phoebe is great.....but what if what I think is great is not as great as something.......greater! Look I still love Phoebe but when I'm with Rachel I feel so.............I don't know

Chandler: Okay man stop before you make a mistake here! That's not chemistry it's anxiety! It's natural!

Ross: It IS natural! 

Chandler: Totally!

Ross: Yeah I was just being stupid! I was being a jackass!

[Rachel's office]

Rachel: And I can treat that jackass like any other faceless groom.

Monica: Right!

Rachel: Yes because I like order, and because I love a challenge, AND BECAUSE I AM A GODDAMNED PROFESSIONAL!!!!  (opens her organizer)

[The golf course]

Ross: And the feelings I have for Phoebe run deep it's not something that can just be swept away in one night with one dance

Chandler: No way!

Ross: Right!

Chandler: So your gonna get me her number right?

Ross: No.

[Scene: Ross's Landover, Ross is driving, Phoebe is in the passenger seat, and Rachel is in the back]

Phoebe: Hey I just realized that we don't have a wedding song, so I got this wedding compellation album to find one. (puts the CD in the player, A Groovy Kind Of Love by Dan Finnerty starts) hmmm.....what do you think?

Ross: It's great I like it

Phoebe: Yeah....lets see what else there is (skips to the next track it's Annie's Song by John Denver) Well?

Ross: That's great too, I like it

Phoebe: It's kinda cute.....kinda not! (skips to the next track it's I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton-John) Oh my god this is it, I love this song! What do you think?!

Ross: (smiles) It's perfect

Rachel: (snickers)

Phoebe: What? Is this not a good song?

Rachel: No actually......it's is perfect.

Phoebe: (smiles) We have a song (lays her head on Ross's shoulder, then turns back around to Rachel) Oh, speaking of love, whatever happened to that guy? You know the one you- (Ross swerves into the next lane then back) Ross!!! What the hell is wrong with you?! You wanna get is killed?!

Ross: I'm sorry there was a deer in the road, did you see it?

Phoebe: (rolls here eyes, then looks back at Rachel) Well?

Rachel: (shrugs) Didn't work out.

Phoebe: How can that be? I saw you three days later and you still had stars in your eyes.

Ross: (kinda glances at her in the rear view mirror)

Rachel: (evily) Well it turns out he was the groom in one of the weddings I was planning.

Phoebe: Are you kidding me?!

Rachel: No

Phoebe: That is disgusting! What a bastard!

Rachel: Uh hu (smiles, Ross looks irritated)

[Scene: A resort in the hills. Rachel and the manager are showing Ross and Phoebe around.]

Rachel: So ceremony would be over here (points)

Joey: Rachel!!!!! (runs over to them) Rachel Green!!!!

Rachel: What? Joey? What the heak are you doing here?!?!?!?!?!

Joey: Your father told me where you were so I came down to surprise you!

Rachel: Wha-

Ross: I'm Ross Geller who are you?

Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani, Rachel's fiancé.

Rachel: Joey!

Phoebe: Oh my god Rachel you didn't tell me you were engaged.

Manager: Your engaged! Oh you've done so many weddings with us and now you get your own!

Rachel: It's not a big deal.

Ross: Oh yes it is! It's a big deal! It's great, absolutely great that you've found that special someone to be honest and faithful and true to until the end of time, forever and ever and ever. (puts his arm around Phoebe and smiles)

Joey: Yeah baby! And I'm her fiancé. (puts his arm around Rachel, who looks like she wants to die. They start walking off Joey grabs Ross's arm) Hey Ross, look planning a wedding isn't for guys so.....you come with me we'll do guy stuff!

Ross: Ummm.....your right we'll leave the women, I mean the brides to be (points to both Phoebe and Rachel) to their business. (Ross and Joey walk off)

Phoebe: (talking about Joey) How cute is he!

Rachel: (rolls her eyes)

[Scene: Ross and Joey are walking around near the club house]

Ross: So how long have you known Rachel?

Joey: Oh long before she was such a babe, back then she didn't look too good!

Ross: Ahhh I see

Joey: Hey look a gym, come on lets go (goes into the gym)

[Scene: Ross and Joey are on treadmills, Joey turns his up really fast]

Ross: Hey uhhh take it easy there Joe

Joey: I like the speed

Ross: Oh (he turns his up to the same speed)

-time laps- Ross is sweating pretty hard but Joey is not.

[Scene: Rachel and Phoebe are looking around the ballroom]

[Scene: The gym Ross and Joey are doing chin ups]

Ross: How many is that for you?

Joey: 65

Ross: (stares at him in disbelif) How many?!

Joey: 65, you?

Ross: Uhh.....same (they keep going)

[Scene: Back in the garden, Phoebe and Rachel meet up with Frank and Alice]

Phoebe: Hey you guys finally made it!

Alice: Yeah

Phoebe: Well Rachel was just showing me around this place and I really like it, what do you think?

Frank: Well I don't know I mean isn't it kinda......bright?

Rachel: Well it's a garden, it's suppose to be.

Frank: Ehhh

Alice: Well ya know we kinda need something bigger or we'll have to cut the guest list

Phoebe: Oh yeah that's right!

Rachel: Well okay, that's fine. There are lots of other places- (they are interrupted my noise, everyone looks over and we see Ross and Joey wrestling in the other part of the garden)

Phoebe: Ross what are you doing?

Ross: (looks over) Oh just a minute (is tackled by Joey) OUFF!!!!

Rachel: (smiles) Good move honey!!!!

Phoebe: (looks at her)

Rachel: (stops smiling and kinda shrugs)

[Scene: A trail in the woods, everyone is going horseback riding, Frank is trying to sing Ball Tongue by Kron, he sounds terrible]

Phoebe: (talking to Rachel) So I want a vegetarian dinner at the reception, cuz I could not sleep knowing we murdered innocent animals for my wedding.

Rachel: Okay, I'm sure we'll have no trouble finding a vegetarian caterer

Phoebe: Great. Hey Frank, will you please SHUT UP!!!!!!

Frank: (screeches really loud, Rachel's horse gets spooked and starts jumping up and down)

Rachel: AHHH!!! Heel boy, heel!!!! (it jumps again then starts running away)

Phoebe: Pull on the reins!!!!! (the runs wildly into a field, Rachel can't get it to stop, everyone chases after her, Ross catches up first)

Ross: (grabs her around her back) On three! one....two....three (Rachel grabs his neak and he lifts her on to his horse, then stops. The other's catch up with the a couple seconds later)

Phoebe: Oh my god you could have been killed!!! Are you okay? Ross your riding back with her!

Rachel: No, no! I'm fine!

Alice: Ross don't let her out of your sight

[Scene: Part of the trail, the other's are riding a head singing, and Ross and Rachel are behind, Rachel is on the horse, Ross is walking it holding the reins]

Rachel: (after a couple awkward minutes) Thank you for what you did

Ross: No problem 

Rachel: You don't have to be all smug about it!

Ross: (laughs) You harpooned me for being engaged but come to find out you yourself have a fiancé, and you have the nerve to call me smug? What's your problem huh?

Rachel: I'm not the one with the problem you are!!!! I mean are you aware Phoebe has chosen Teal for her brides maid's gowns? Teal! The color of gang green! My last bride who chose Teal had marriage annulled in 12 days. And I Honestly Love You as your wedding song?! You might as well commit matrimonial suicide right now!

Ross: (stops) Alright ya know what fine! Yes I was attracted to that night in the rain! Maybe I was having doubts! But not anymore! Nothing happened that night, and I never thought I would see you again, and I am convinced that Phoebe is the one for me!!! (turns back around) So all your theories about love sound like the ranting of a bitter and cynical woman! (Rachel glares at him angrily)

[Scene: Rachel's apartment (apartment 20) Rachel is sleeping curled up on the couch, her father is humming the Wedding March while measuring her]

Rachel: (startles) Daddy! What are you doing?!

Leonard: I'm measuring you for a wedding dress!

Rachel: Okayyy, I want my key back!

Bert: (from the kitchen) Hey what do you want on your bagel?

Rachel: I don't want a bagel, I don't want a wedding dress, I don't want a wedding!!!!!

Leonard: What but Joey said you announced your engagement!

Rachel: No we didn't!!

Bert: I told you he was full of crap!

Leonard: Shut up! Go toast the bagel!!!

Bert: I'll toast what see fit! (walks off)

Rachel: Okay dad you have got to stop this! You can't just find some guy and expect me to marry him it doesn't work that way! You should know that you had mom!

Leonard: Yeah and I married her because she was the kind of girl I was expected to marry!

Rachel: What?!

Leonard: For the first ten years of out marriage we hardly ever spoke to each other, then a few months before she died I realized that I loved her, and I had for a long time. So you might not like Joey now, but maybe you'll love him later. I should have told you about your mother and I earlier.....

Rachel: Yes you should have, before I thought love actually existed.

Leonard: Rach-

Rachel: No, no (gets up) I have to go (leaves)

[Scene: A park, Rachel is showing Ross and Phoebe around]

Rachel: And the reception would be held over here (points to a fountain)

Phoebe: It's big enough

Rachel: So what do you think?

Ross/Phoebe: I say.....

Phoebe: We'll take it!

Ross: Lets keep looking.

Rachel: Right! Maybe I should give you a minute. (goes off)

Phoebe: You don't like it?

Ross: Well I don't know it's just......ehhh 

Phoebe: Awww, please I think it's beautiful!

Ross: Well hey sure if this is what you like lets go with it!

Phoebe: (smiles) Thank you (hugs him)

Rachel: You've decided?

Phoebe: Yes, we're gonna take it!

Rachel: Okay then

Phoebe: Alright you'll have no trouble planning the wedding while I'm gone

Rachel/Ross: What?!

Phoebe: I have a business meeting in Chicago, remember I told you about that!

Rachel: Pheebs this is a very important time-

Phoebe: I know that's why you'll have to keep going even though I'm not here! (Ross and Rachel look at each other warily) 

[Scene: Ross and Rachel are walking through a garden with rows of statues]

Ross: Do we really need statues at the wedding?

Rachel: Well you don't have to have them, it just helps the decor.

Ross: Okay

Rachel: How about this one?

Ross: Nah don't like it

Rachel: Oookay

Ross: Ya know I always pictured a small wedding. (points to a statue of a man holding up a sword and shield) What about this one?

Rachel: Well it's not right for a wedding it's to menacing!

Ross: He's not menacing, he's masculine, he's the protector! 

Rachel: He's naked!

Ross: He's strong Rach, this man is sturdy (Ross leans against the statue and it falls over)

Rachel: Oh god! Quick pick it up before someone sees! (they run over and push the statue back up, Rachel looks down and the ground and gasps) Ross!!!

Ross: What?

Rachel: You castrated him!! 

Ross: (noticed what she's looking at) Uh oh (picks up the missing body part) Dude I'm sorry

Rachel: Oh my god a guard's coming this way!!!

Ross: What are we gonna do?!

Rachel: (takes some super glue out of her pocket)

Ross: Oh great! (she puts some glue on then Ross puts it back on the statue) Oh shit!! 

Rachel: What?

Ross: I'm stuck!!

Rachel: WHAT?!

Ross: I am glued to the statue

Rachel: Oh my god!! That guard! (the guard comes over to them)

Guard: Sir touching the statues is not allowed.

Ross: Oh okay, (turns to Rachel) your right it's limestone not granite (to the guard) we had a bet going here and she won

Guard: Sir!

Ross: Yeah?

Guard: Your hand sir!

Ross: Yep....my hand (removes his hand and holds it out to the guard) There it is......a limestone penis.....(Rachel bursts out laughing)......... you think it would be bigger huh???

Guard: Okay your both under arrest! I'd tell you to put your hands behind your head but I see yours are kinda full!

Rachel: Oh no please look we'll just pay for the statue and it'll be fine okay?

Guard: Fine! (walks off)

Ross: (holds up his hand) So......what are we gonna do about this?

Rachel: Well let me see (they sit down on a bench) Yeah I think I can get it off (takes a Q-tip out of her purse)

Ross/Rachel: (after a minute) I'm sorry

Rachel: Ummm you go

Ross: I'm sorry I said you were bitter and cynical your not

Rachel: Yeah and I'm sorry I said your marriage was doomed to fail, you and Phoebe will be really happy together

Ross: Yeah so will you and Joey

Rachel: Well actually we're not engaged anymore

Ross: Oh I'm so sorry

Rachel: No it's fine, it was actually my dad trying to get us together.

Ross: Why?

Rachel: Probably because he was so happy with my mom. (she then manages to get the penis unglued from his hand) Ahhh! There you go.

Ross: Thanks

Rachel: Ya know I agree with you about the small wedding, I'd do it that way too (leaves)

[Leonard's apartment (it looks like apartment 19, but it's not in the same building Rachel lives in) Rachel enters]

Rachel: Daddy?

Joey: Rachel! Hey it's uhhh (quickly turns off Baywatch) it's nice to see you

Rachel: Where's my dad?

Joey: We went to get balloons for Bert's birthday party

Rachel: Oh well tell him I was here (starts to leave)

Joey: Wait, wait! Are you mad at me?

Rachel: Am I mad at you?? YES I'M MAD AT YOU!!!!! You told my father we were engaged! He measured me for a wedding dress! You humiliated me last weekend! What is the matter with you?! Do you ever listen?! I don't want to marry you!!!!

Joey: I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone, from now on we'll just be friends!

Rachel: You expect us to be friends just like that?!

Joey: Well.....look I apologize for what I did. So we'll just be friends alright?

Rachel: (after a minute) Fine.

Joey: Great uhhh so you have plans for dinner?

Rachel: JOEY!!!!

Joey: No! No I just want to hang out, I'll make you The Joey Special

Rachel: What's The Joey Special?

-time laps- (a pizza guy is delivering two pizzas to them)

Joey: (pays him) Thanks

Rachel: That's your special? Two pizza's?

Joey: Oh yeah, it's great!

Rachel: (rolls her eyes, and they sit down to eat) 

Joey: What's wrong?

Rachel: It's nothing

Joey: No come on tell me!

Rachel: I met this guy and I thought he was the one, but.....he's not. And I feel so confused and don't know what I should do.....I'm sorry you probably don't understand.

Joey: No I understand, you long for him the way I long for you.

Rachel: (looks at him) Listen Joey.....

Joey: No Rach it's fine, listen you can't control when you fall in love it just happens

Rachel: Hmmm......ya know what I think?

Joey: What?

Rachel: I think love sucks!

Joey: Oh amen to that! (they clink their beer bottles together)

[Scene: A flower shop, Ross and Rachel are looking around]

Rachel: Phoebe already picked out lilies, but we need a few more so anything you like just tell me

Ross: Okay.....(points to a flower) what about that one?

Rachel: That's called a Bleeding Heart, it's the official funeral flower of Tibet

Ross: Of course! I knew I'd be good at this! Okay what about orchids?

Rachel: Yeah that would work

Ross: Good (they keep looking, in the other side of the store a man and a woman who is obviously pregnant are buying a bouquet of roses, they turn around and Rachel notices them)

Rachel: Oh my god! (grabs the back of Ross's jacket and tries to hide behind him) 

Ross: What's wrong?

Rachel: Shh!!! Just hide me!!

Ross: Rachel

Rachel: Don't say my name!!!!! (she turns around and nocks over a bin of flowers, so of course everyone in the store looks at her, she ducks under one of the aisles and crawls out the other side but the man and woman are there)

Man: Rachel? (Rachel picks a flower up off the floor then gets up)

Rachel: Hi

Ross: Rachel!!

Rachel: Oh hey there you are ummm I found it! (shows him the flower)

Ross: Oh okay, umm I'm Ross Geller

Barry: Shakes his hand Barry Farber umm my wife Mindy (Mindy smiles)

Ross: So you all know each other

Barry/Mindy: (looking really uncomfortable) Well.....uhhh....we go way back

Rachel: (upset) Oh let me tell it! It's really a funny story! You see Barry was my fiancé and Mindy was my best friend, and on the night before our wedding I caught them making out.......in my car!!! (to Barry and Mindy) Did I leave any thing out?

[Scene: The street, a very drunk Rachel is walking along carrying a six pack of beer and one open in her hand]

Ross: (stops her outside an apartment) So does this look like home? (they look up, Rachel keeps walking then falls over, Ross runs over and helps her up) Are you okay

Rachel: Yeah I'm wonderful!!!!! (takes another sip of beer, they keep going)

[Scene: Outside Rachel's apartment, Ross is trying her keys in the lock, while Rachel is standing over by the intercom]

Rachel: Mr. and Mrs. Elijah Baringer.........Nancy Pong (pushes the button)

Nancy Pong: (over the intercom) Hello?

Rachel: Nancy Pong? Number 34?

Nancy Pong: Yes who is this?

Ross: Uhh Nancy will you buzz us in please?

Rachel: It's Rachel Green number 20

Nancy Pong: Who?

Rachel: (upset) You don't know me

Nancy Pong: (hangs up)

Rachel: Because I'm a control freak (walks over to the wall) and I don't have time for people, but if you ever need a cup of sugar..............I can't help you (starts to cry) because I don't have time to shop!!!!!! (slides down the wall)

Ross: (goes over to her) It's okay Rach we're home

Rachel: (crying) He's married! And their gonna have a baby!!! And he looked good!

Ross: No! No he didn't! (a man starts to come out the front door) Hey will you hold the door for us please

Rachel: (crying) I don't know him!

Ross: I know he's gonna hold the door for us! (picks her up and carries her inside)

Rachel: Are you Nancy Pong?

[Scene: Rachel's apartment, Rachel is laying on the couch and Ross is sitting on the floor next to her]

Rachel: Did you know she was my maid of honor? And the entire time I had no idea! (shakes her head) You really don't think he looked good?

Ross: No, he looked old ya know

Rachel: (laughs)

Ross: Well it's getting late I better go (gets up)

Rachel: (gets up too) I'll walk you to the door.

Ross: So umm I'll see you tomorrow

Rachel: Yeah, see ya (he leaves, Rachel starts to had for her room but there is a nock on the door, she gets it, it's Ross)

Ross: I know nothing about you! I don't know if you ever wore glasses, I don't know your father's name, I have no idea why you became a wedding planner, but I know how gold your hair is and the slight green tone in your eyes..........please say something.

Rachel: (sighs) It's simple, Phoebe is my friend, and she loves you, so that's all I need to know.

Ross: (sad) Your right

Rachel: I'll see you later

Ross: Bye

[Scene: Rachel's office, enter Rachel, Phoebe is already there]

Rachel: Phoebe! Hey I thought you were in Chicago

Phoebe: I came back early

Rachel: Why? Is everything okay?

Phoebe: No it's not! I can't get married?

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: It's not gonna work, I just realized that while I was in a meeting discussing the new cinnamon incense, I mean I can't stand the way Ross's hair gel is so greasy or the way he always corrects your grammar! Oh god is he gonna be the last guy I ever sleep with!? I've been with him so long I don't even know why we're together any more!

Rachel: (sigh) Okay look at me, you are exquisite, (touches her chin lightly) your timeless, and while your were off discussing cinnamon incense your future husband said "I can't believe she picked me, I can't believe I'm marrying the most wonderful woman I have ever met."

Phoebe: (crying) Really? Thank you Rachel (they hug)

Rachel: Your welcome

[Scene: Leonard's apartment, Leonard, Bert, Rachel, Joey, and Edna are there]

All: (sing happy birthday to Bert, then he blows out the candles)

Joey: Hey I want to make a toast ummm happy birthday Bert, and thank you Leonard for introducing me to all you fine people and one more thing just give me a minute.......(leaves, everyone looks at each other questioningly, Joey comes back with a doll house, inside is an engagement ring, Rachel is shocked) Rach, I know I'm kinda dumb, I never say the right thing and I act like an idiot, and I know I said we'd just be friends, but that would not be true to my heart. I'll ask you once, and if you say no that's fine, I'll leave you alone, marry me Rachel Green and I'll be good to you and make sure you have a roof over your head like the house for your dolls.

Rachel: (looks down for a minute) Okay

Joey: What?

Rachel: Yes, I'll marry you 

Joey: Oh my god!!!!! (they hug)

[Scene: The Catering Tent, Monica and Rachel are there]

Monica: What? You can't leave me here!

Rachel: You can handle it I know you can!

Monica: But why do you want to leave? This is your shining moment! Your a partner now!!!

Rachel: Well there's somewhere I have to be 

Monica: (looks at her questioningly)

[Scene: Phoebe's dressing room, Phoebe is wearing her wedding dress, she looks at herself in the mirror and looks kinda sad at first, Ross comes in the door behind her]

Phoebe: (turns around) Hey what are you doing here? You know we're not suppose to see each other before the wedding.

Ross: (smiles) You look beautiful

Phoebe: Come on get out we're starting soon

Ross: (takes her hand) Let's take a walk

[Scene: Part of the park, Ross and Phoebe are there]

Phoebe: Look sweetie we can talk after the wedding!

Ross: No I need you to answer this now

Phoebe: What?

Ross: Why do you want to marry me?

Phoebe: What?

Ross: Just tell me why

Phoebe: What? I, I don't understand! Are you trying to dump me on my wedding day?!

Ross: No I'm not I just-

Phoebe: I cannot believe this!!!! How could you do this to me (starts hitting him)

Ross: Hey, hey, hey ow! (grabs her hands)

Phoebe: (struggles) Let go of me!!!!

Ross: Stop it! Just listen, the reasons we were together before don't hold up anymore......and I think you already know that! Now if you really want to get married we will, are you ready?

Phoebe: Yeah, of course, just.........just a minute................(looks down then shakes her head) no I don't want to get married. I.......I....oh my god! Ross, do you remember what I was like when we first met?

Ross: Yes

Phoebe: I, I never wanted to get married in a big fancy wedding.....or, to be a business woman! I.....when I look in the mirror I don't see me I see a stranger.

Ross: I know

Phoebe: (looks at the wedding dress she's wearing) This isn't me! (sits down on a bench) My god, how could we let it go this far?

Ross: (sits down next to her) I don't know

Phoebe: What are we going to do?

Ross: Whatever we want I guess (they smile at each other)

[Scene: Phoebe is in a cad, Ross helps her get all of her dress inside]

Ross: There you go

Phoebe: Thanks (smiles) bye

Ross: Bye (shuts the door and the cad leaves)

Monica: NO!!!!! No, no no!!!! Oh my god!!! That's the bride!!! Is that the bride?!?!?!

Ross: Yep

Monica: (shakes her head) Okay this is not happening, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!!!!!! I'm gonna kill Rachel for leaving me here alone!

Ross: What are you talking about?

Monica: I am talking about your wedding planner leaving me here all alone, to get go to city hall and get married

Ross: What?! She's....she can't get married!!!Taxi!!!!! (gets in a taxi) City hall!!! (the taxi leaves)

Monica: Oh that's just great go, go! I'll tell everyone that there isn't going to be a wedding at all!!!!!!

[Scene: Ladies room at city, hall Rachel puts on her wedding dress, then leaves and goes into the office of the justice of the peace, Bert, Edna, Leonard and Joey are there]

Leonard: Beautiful (kisses her on the cheek)

Joey: (takes her hand)

Justice: We are gathered here to day to join these two in the state of marriage, this contract is not to be taken lightly, but with thought and consideration. If there is anyone who can show good cause why these two should not be joined let him speak now or forever hold his peace. (everyone except Rachel and Joey look very troubled but no one says anything) Fine, lets proceed-

Leonard: No! No!

Edna: Oh thank god!

Bert: Hell I object too!

Rachel: What is going on here!?!

[Scene: Ross is stuck in traffic]

Ross: Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't know any other rout?

Driver: No I don't

Ross: (looks at his watch) UGH (gets out, and opens the drivers door) Move over!

Driver: What are you doing?!

Ross: (gets in and turns onto another street)

[Scene: City hall, Leonard pulls Rachel over to the side]

Leonard: Rachel when I see the look in your eyes it hurts me! This is not what you want it's what I want!

Rachel: Dad I'm glad your concerned but....your right love isn't a fairy tale, and Joey is a good man.

Leonard: Are you sure?

Rachel: (nods)

Leonard: Okay

[Scene: Outside city hall, Ross pulls up and jumps out of the cab, the starts dashing up the steps inside]

Joey: Ross!!!

Ross: Joey!!! Joey where's Rachel! Where's Rachel?

Joey: She's gone

Ross: What you? You didn't get married did you?!

Joey: No we didn't, I, I could never forgive myself if I got in the way of her happieness

Leonard: I'm her father who the hell are you?!

Bert: He's the paleontologist

Ross: I'm Ross Geller I'm in love with your daughter

Joey: Wait, wait your the one?!

Ross: Yes, yes

Edna: Who is this?

Joey: It's Ross he's the one

Leonard: What a minute!!!! You love her and she loves you?!

Ross: Yes

Leonard: The why are you standing around talking to us?!?!?

Ross: Your right where is she

Joey: Dude come on I'll take you to her (they leave)

[Scene: Central Park (that night) Ross and Joey drive up on Joey's motorcycle]

Joey: Here (Ross gets off and runs away) You be good to her!!! I still did more chin ups than you!!!!! (a woman walks by) Hey, how you doin'?

[Scene: Rachel is sitting under the tree]

Ross: Rachel?

Rachel: (turns around) Ross?

Ross: Hi

Rachel: Hi, where's Phoebe?

Ross: She's in France....on our honeymoon.....we didn't get married

Rachel: Why?

Ross: Because she needs to find her own life

Rachel: And you?

Ross: I love you Rachel Green

Rachel: (smiles) I love you too

Ross: (takes her hand) Let's dance (they get up and dance and the scene fades out)

 

The End