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A new Ross and Rach fan
Joined: 24 Mar 2005
| TOW The Tonight Show
Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:17 am
|Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.
About the characters: Ross and Rachel are together, Chandler and Joey still live together.
Side Note: This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic and any feedback is appriciated.
TOW The Tonight Show:
[ Joey and Chandler's Apartment}
Joey (pouring a bowl of cereal): This sucks!
Chandler: What's wrong, dude?
Joey: Remember when Cap'n Crunch had all the cool prizes and crap? (Joey shows an empty box to Chandler): Nothing. Nada. Zilch (shouting at the box) Bring back the crap!
Chandler: You do know that's a cereal for kids, right?
* Chandler pours a box of Lucky Charms and a small package slips out *
Chandler: COOL! A glow-in-the-dark pen!
--- Opening Credits ---
[ Scene: Central Perk. Ross is on a cell phone and Rachel, Joey, Pheobe, and Monica are on the couch ]
Ross (talking on the phone): That's great....ok....ok.....ok. Great. Bye!
Rachel: Who was that, sweetie?
Ross: That was Carol. She and Susan are going away and we're going to watch Ben for a week.
Ross: Don't worry. It will be fun.
Pheobe: What are you going to do?
Ross: I thought about taking him to the museum
Pheobe (interrupting) Don't take him there. Take him someplace fun!
Ross: The museum IS fun!
Pheobe: If you're a geek.
Joey: Hey, I know of a great place!
Ross: Don't say the strip club.
Joey: No. Take him to a Knicks game
Ross (shrugs): I dunno
Joey: But since you mentioned the strip club.....
Rachel, Ross, and Monica (together): JOEY!!!
Joey: No, not for Ben. Ross, let's go this afternoon
Rachel: Excuse me, but he is my boyfriend.
Ross: I don't need to see a beautiful woman. I've got you, Rach.
Rachel (glaring): WHAT????
Ross (realizing how it sounded): Gotta run!
** Ross kisses Rachel's forhead and leaves **
Monica: Oh! Take Ben to the zoo!
Rachel: Oh, that does sound like fun
Monica: But keep Ross away from the Primates, or he'll go into his whole "Monkey into Man" speech
Ross ( yelling thru the window): It's a proven fact!
[ Joey and Chandler's apartment ]
** There is a knock on the door and Joey answers it. A salesman is there **
Salesman: Are you the decision maker here?
Joey (confused): Uh...I guess so.
Salesman: Good afternoon, sir. Every house today needs a computer
Joey: Not this house buddy. Try Ross Gellar....total geek.
Salesman: With a computer you can write a grocery list
Joey: I have a pen and paper that can do that too
Salesman: You can do research
Joey: I don't do research
Salesman (whispering): You can download porn
Joey: How much does a computer cost?
** The phone rings**
Joey (answering the phone): Hello?
(voice on other end of line): Joey? This is Estelle and I've got great news.
Joey: I'm being nominated for an Oscar?
Joey: An Emmy?
Joey: A People's Choice?
Joey: Dammit. I though you said you had great news
** The salesman leaves **
Estelle: I got you on The Tonight Show.
Joey: Really? That IS great news!
Estelle: Not for the person who was the voice of Scooby Doo. He came down with the flu.
Joey: So I was 2cd choice?
Estelle: More like 5th choice.
Joey: Yes! It your face, 6th choice!
Estelle: The taping is tomorrow.
Joey: Tomorrow, as in the day after today? I have an audition. Dammit.
Estelle: I don't think the audition will go over very well, Joe.
Joey: Why not?
Estelle: Somebody's been spreading a rumor that you slept with the producer's daughter.
Joey: Is she cute?
--- Commercial ---
[ Ross and Rachel's apartment ]
Rachael: So when are you going to pick up Ben?
Ross: I'm not. Carol and Susan are dropping him off on their way to the airport
Rachel (nervously): OK
Ross: You're cool with Ben staying here, right?
Rachel: Oh, totally. I guess I just don't know him very well
Ross: Relax sweetie. He'll love you.
Ross: You bet!
** Joey charges into the room **
Joey: Guess what???
Rachel: You forgot how to knock?
** Joey looks confused **
Rachel: We could have been doin' stuff.
Joey (smiling): Were ya?
Joey: It plays out differently in my mind.
Ross: What's going on?
Joey: Guess who's going to be on The Tonight Show?
Rachel: OH MY GOD!
Joey: I know!
Rachel: Mel Gibson?
Rachel: Harrison Ford?
Joey (turning to leave, annoyed): See ya.
Rachel: I'm only kidding, sweetie....but seriously, who is it.
Joey: It's me.
Ross: That's great!
Rachel: And we can come, right?
Rachel: Please, please, please!
Joey: Ok, but you have to promise to behave
** Rachel jumps up-and-down squealing and giggling **
Joey: This is what I'm talking about
** A few seconds pass and there's a knock on the door. Rachel answers it to find Mr. Heckles **
Mr. Heckles: You're doing it again.
Rachel: I'm sorry Mr. Heckles, I got a little carried away.
Mr. Heckles: You're distrubing my conversation with The President
Rachel: You're not talking with The President
Mr. Heckles: I could be talking with the President
Ross: Tell him we said "Hi" (Ross slams the door in Mr. Heckle's face)
[ Ross and Rachel's apartment (later that day) ]
Monica (yelling across the hall): Joey, did you forget how to knock?
Rachel (making the bed for Ben): What time is Ben coming?
Ross: In about an hour
Rachel: Dammit. We're supposed to watch Joey tonight
Ross (disappointed): Oh, that's right. We can't take Ben with us
** Pheobe enters **
Rachel: Hey could you do me a favor?
Pheobe: NO! The last time you asked me to do you a favor, I almost got fired!
Rachel: No. Can you watch Ben tonight?
Pheobe: Sure, I guess. Where are you guys going?
Rachel: I'm sure Joey wanted to be the one to tell, but he's going to be on the Tonight Show
Pheobe: That's great! Can I come?
Ross: What about Ben?
Pheobe: Ben who?
Pheobe: What a coincidence. His last name is my first name. (thinking for a second)....oh, you want me to watch Ben,
Rachel: I will owe you big
Pheobe: You ALREADY owe me big. But I can watch it on TV. I've seen Joey make a fool of himself millions of times already. He won't say or do something that I've not seen or heard.
[ Joey and Chandler's apartment. Joey is pretending to talk with Jay Leno, not knowing that Chandler is right behind him ].
Chandler: That's the best fake interview I've ever heard
Joey: Man, I'm so nervous.
Chandler: Relax. Just fight your normal reactions. In other words, don't be yourself.
Joey: What if I say something stupid?
Chandler: You should be used to it.
* Joey gives Chander a go-to-hell look *
Chandler: Seriously, you'll be fine.
** Monica enters **
Monica: Hey the limo's here.
Joey: That's great. Who's car are you guys taking?
[ Dressing Room. Joey nervously paces back and forth. Laughter from the audience is heard as Jay Leno does his monolauge ].
Chandler: Would you mind? You're making ME nervous.
** There is a knock on the door as a security guard escorts Rachel and Monica to the dressing room **
Rachel (sitting on a leather sofa): Oh my God. Just think, Bruce Willis' ass could have been here (pats the sofa).
Joey: Where's Ross at?
Rachel: He's on the way, sweetie.
Monica: Just think...in a few minutes millions of people are going to see you.
** Joey starts to pace again and Chander rolls his eyes **
Rachel: Don't freak out. Just take some deep breaths
** Joey takes some deep breaths and calms down for a second as Monica rubs his shoulders **
** The program director enters the room **
Director: You're on in 10 minutes, Mr. Tribbiani.
Joey (whining): 10 minutes? ** Joey starts to pace again **
Chandler: OH MY GOD!
[The stage. Jay Leno is sitting at his desk ]
Jay: My next guest plays the suave Dr. Drake Ramore on the hit show "Days of our Lives". Ladies and Gentleman, Joey Tribbiani!
* Cheers and applause from the audience. Chandler gives Joey a thunbs up. Joey walks across the stage, waving to the audiance, shakes Jay's hand before taking his place on the sofa *
Jay: What's this I hear about a stalker who thought you actually were Dr. Drake Ramore?
Joey: Yeah. We dated for a while, but then she got wierd.
Jay: You mean she wasen't wierd before?
** audience laughter **
[Rachel and Ross' apartment, a few hours later. Ben is sleeping on the sofa and Pheobe is dusting her guitar. Ross and Rachel enter quietly]
Pheobe: Wow. Joey was really good
Ross: Yeah. Who would have thought?
** Ross gently wakes Ben and takes him to guest room **
** Joey enters the room and Pheobe gives him a hug **
Pheobe: You're famous now
Joey: I'm still the same 'ol Joey. Except that I was on the Tonight Show and you weren't!
--- Ending Credits --
[ Central Perk. Rachel, Chandler are the only ones there. Joey enters a few seconds later ]
Rachel (mock hysteria): Oh My God! It's Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: I would like to thank all the little people who made all this possible
** a pretty lady walks up to Joey. He looks at her and says "How you doin'". She hands him a piece of paper and leaves **
Joey: This is great. Ever since being on the Tonight Show, I've had more dates than I can count.
Chandler: You can count?
Rachel: That's so shallow. You're such a pig.
Joey: Maybe so, but I'm a pig with a full schedule for the next 2 weeks
-- The End --
A new Ross and Rach fan
Joined: 24 Aug 2003
| Re: TOW The Tonight Show
Mon Mar 28, 2005 11:44 pm
|Interesting story. I really enjoyed it. Thanks![/b]
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